Autism And Us

When my son, Joshua, was a baby he suffered from one ear infection after another, but our family Doctor. did not deem them bad enough to get tubes in his ears until he was almost three. At that point it was only because I took him into the Doctor and made him pay attention to the fact that Joshua was behind in speech and I basically demanded to get a referral to an ENT, (Ear, Nose and Throat), Doctor. At that point our insurance required us get a referral or I would have taken him to see an ENT Doctor. much earlier. On his first visit to the ENT it was recommended he get tubes and also have his tonsils and adenoids removed. It was done right after his third birthday.

Outside of being behind in his speech Joshua hit all of his other milestones on time and just like any other toddler. He even said all of his first words on time; it wasn't until he started trying to put sentences together that we noticed his words were not clear. I was the only one who could understand what Joshua said and this frustrated him to the point that he would get very upset when he had to repeat himself. Sometimes he would try to bang his head on the wall and a couple of times before I could stop him he would bang it hard enough to get a good sized goose bump on his forehead.

I found out the school system had to provide speech therapy as early as three years old, so I got him into that right after he healed from the tube/tonsil/adenoid operation. He went three half days a week and he liked going.

Throughout grade school Joshua struggled in English but excelled in Math. Many of his teachers treated him like he was lazy with English, and I, not knowing any better, would push him that much harder to learn things like his spelling words. I found that if he wrote them so many times each he would get them memorized, so that is what we did to get him through grade school.

The summer before he started middle school I put him in a summer school refresher course. In that course he was tested and he tested 3-4 levels lower than his grade in English, but 3-4 levels higher in Math. I was told for the first time that this could signify a learning disability and that I should have him further tested.

I was beside myself because we were already dealing with his father having Melanoma Cancer, but I requested he be tested at the start of his sixth grade year. Half the school year went by, we lost his father to cancer and the school had still not tested Joshua.

Joshua was struggling both personally and academically to say the least. I found out that by law when you request them to be tested the school only has a short period of time to get the testing done and we had long passed that.

I went to the school with my new found knowledge about the testing and needless to say they got him tested right away. It was confirmed he did have a learning disability and at that point he got an IEP. We had to learn how Joshua best absorbed information and then teach him how to learn it on his own without us doing his work for him.

Joshua and I spent many hours each evening taking turns reading his English homework, and I even went as far to get books on tape so he could listen to them after we read over them as well.

His Aunt and Uncle on his dad’s side stepped up and aided Joshua and I in any way they could. They had already been dealing with IEP's for their own son, who has Down Syndrome. Plus she is a school teacher in another state and knew many of the things I needed to learn about. At this time I was also working at a hospital for the mentally disabled, so I was picking up little facts from there as well.

At this point we didn't know Josh had Autism yet, but we were learning all we could to better ourselves to help him.

By the time Joshua was ready to start eighth grade I had relocated and he started in a new, better school system. His aunt started coming here to attend Joshua's IEP meetings with me and we felt we made more progress for him than we had in the past.

We knew Joshua has always had quarks about his personality. For instance when he learns something you have to be sure to teach him the right way, because once he gets it in his head that’s the only way to do it in his mind, and it is very hard to change a habit for him once he's learned it.

Joshua also doesn't like certain textures in clothing and foods. He is very picky when it comes to eating, but with my persistence over the years his menu has grown and he is at least willing to try new foods. He won't make eye contact with people he doesn't know or isn't comfortable with. This one had to be included in his IEP because many of his teachers take that as a sign he is disrespecting them.

Everything to Josh is 'black and white' and there is no grey area. It is either right or wrong period. He also deals with anxiety over new things. Joshua had friends in school, but outside of school he usually preferred to be a loner for the most part. He has gotten the same hair cut for years and never wants to change the way it is cut. There is more but I'm sure you get the idea.

When he started High School he got a wonderful Special ED teacher who recommended Joshua be further tested after we met with her. The testing was done and Joshua was diagnosed with PDD-NOS. Which basically means his learning disability is related to Autism but he's on the lighter end of the scale.

Joshua worked very hard on his school work and was able to do all of his homework on his own by his junior year. He didn’t get any grade curves and outside of getting a bit more time to complete an assignment, (only if he needed it), he was expected to do the same work as normal students. He managed to stay on the A/B honor roll for the last couple of years of High School and I am very proud of him for that.

Josh went on to go to college in a different state and earned a bachelors degree in computers, with only the occasional tutor for help.

I think with everything I've learned connected to Autism I was shocked to learn that not all Autistic people are like what we saw in the movie 'Rain Man'. I never realized what a wide rage Autism has and how many people have it to a low enough degree that the people around them don't even notice it.

All of the personality traits that point Joshua to have it are traits he shares with his father. His father was a Manufacturing Engineer and no one would have ever pegged him with Autism. I knew his personality well and now that I see the full picture of Autism I'm sure he had it to a degree like Joshua does.

Both of my step sons are also Autistic but I do not feel I have the right to tell their story. I will say that between our three sons, they are all over the Autism Scale. The youngest can not speak and has some 'behaviors'.

I hope this gave you a look into the world of Autism and taught you some of what we have learned along the way about it.

You can learn more about Autism here: https://www.autismspeaks.org/