About how I lost the moon, counting the stars

How to start ... Three years ago I liked the boy. Yes, it's the boy, not the man and not yet the guy. We started to communicate, everything was fine. I liked him so much and there were signs of attention on his part. However, I took the initiative into my own hands: she offered me to meet, and afterwards I offered to part.

"Relations" lasted about a month. Then a year passed. That little boy began to slowly turn into a guy, and I, respectively, from a girl to a girl. And again, his brown, bottomless eyes fell to me ... She began to regret that they had once parted. After a while, I again began to show signs of attention, writing on social networks. And again, on my initiative, we agreed, but not a week passed when I left him, deciding that he was still small. Although actually was older than me, though not much, but older. Stupid girl, considered herself an adult ... I remember and become ridiculous. About three months passed. And again history repeated itself.

Time passed, we changed, and so he became a guy, and I'm a girl. On the street in March. History begins to repeat itself and I feel that this person has very strongly sunk into my soul. Relations (note, now without quotes) lasted a month. Everything was fine ... As I wished. And again. I acted simply horribly against him, leaving ... Next summer of the same year. We went for a walk ... Everything was fine. And I came across a statement, which was the reason to call this article "Never ignore the one who loves you, because once you can lose the moon, counting the stars." And finally, I really fell in love ...

In fact, we did not manage to meet again. Then we finished 9th grade and we parted. But I do not cease to love him, although it will soon be a year. Where he went, there are many girls. And the guy immediately found this for himself ... It was very painful and insulting to look at them from the side, but on the other hand I wish him happiness and understand that the fault is entirely on my shoulders. Half a year after we broke up, he broke up with a new girlfriend. And again we went for a walk and it seems that everything could be good. But he has changed. There is no more that boy who ran to me as soon as I wanted to. There is a real guy who knows what he wants. Which did not succumb to my provocations. And then it came to pass - this is not love, but love. Passed another half a year. And I still really love him, realizing that nothing can be ... But I do not lose hope ... This guy is the moon in my life, but because of the stars, I lost it.