That tiny moment between normal and chaos

Our paths are not always as long as we expect. Sometimes we walk toward the unintelligible fog of our future, which we always assume has a little room for more steps, and we simply fall into the endless abyss of nothingness. The vertigo of this fall comes unexpectedly. How is it that yesterday I was a hopeful teacher and today I'm bleeding out from a gunshot wound?

It's terrible to walk into the doctor's office and ask what the cause of the pain was, only to be told that it's terminal cancer, that we have four months to live. What about my trip to India? What about the wealth I thought I'd have?

We can turn to blame and be angry at the injustice brought by the universe. We can smile and think, at last I'm free to do whatever I want, I'm going to die anyway. But why weren't we doing this in the first place? Because the uncertainty of the future gives us the illusion that there is more, and perhaps there is. We don't want to find ourselves bankrupt 10 years later, living off scraps and homeless.

We make a bet that we'll live for a bit longer. Maybe we won't, so we balance it out. Some enjoyment and some sacrifice.

For some people, life is mostly sacrifice. We hope that the road will be longer, that the abyss or the quicksand won't swallow us so soon. We make a bet and we spend our years working as if the average lifespan were a soothsayer's decree. Will we make it? Time will tell.

For others, life is mostly enjoyment. We don't hope the road will be short, but we don't bet on its length. We just dance as if we were about to fall every day, every year, every decade, until the guillotine's rope finally snaps and our heads roll on the ground.

Where is the perfect balance? Some work five days a week, play one day and rest the other. Some work seven days a week and enjoy their good night's sleep. Some don't even sleep much and die young from overworking. Others work only in their free time and spend their lucky funds in the candy of joy.

Do they ask themselves how much they should work and how much they should rest and play?

I ask myself this question all the time, but I don't find an answer. I'm sure most people have a different version of it. We send our kids to school because, when they grow up, if they grow up, they'll need to know some things about the world. But one day, the moment comes whether they've graduated or not, whether they've even stopped the sacrifice before their period of enjoyment.

I saw a quote someday, perhaps on Fight Club, that said something like "we work to earn enough to keep working". This phrase comes back to me whether I want it or not. It comes back all the time. Are we working ants? "Work dignifies man", said Karl Marx. "Arbeit macht frei" (work makes you free/work frees), said the Nazis, and they hung those words in their concentration camps.

When a totalitarian tells you that you need to work, you hesitate. Am I working for you or for myself? Yet we do need to work. We need to do something to kill boredom. We can't stay still everyday (buddhist monks can) or we grow tired. Tedium makes us stand up and do something. But what is that "something"? Morality would indicate that if we can do two things, enjoy them the same, and one would bring prosperity to the world while the other would do nothing, I should do the more productive thing.

Some would take this to the extreme of saying that we must work for the greater good.

So in this tiny moment that could become decades long, or could be seconds long, we have to make a choice. Do we want to enjoy this time? Do we want to work for the greater good? (Can we work for the greater good and enjoy it at the same time?)

I speak as if everyone had this choice.

But do they?

Old uncertain statistics used to place the number of slaves around the world at 27 million people. More recent ones have been increasing this number. In fact, as the income disparity grows between the classes, and as the world's population massively increases, this number will only keep going up.

All of these people walk the foggy path at gunpoint. Is the abyss here yet? Will it come tomorrow or in a year? They don't know, and they're too afraid to ask. But meanwhile, even though we can choose to dance and play, to tell jokes as we head toward the inevitable abyss, these people can only suffer every day. Their only choice is sacrifice for survival, for the profit of someone else.

Imagine now that the abyss that you didn't expect were not death but slavery. What if life as you know it were to end today? What if you invested in your future for two or three decades only to end up in the hands of a whip, lining up to obey an owner or be beaten up to a pulp?

We live as if our lives were going to last, but the end is coming and we don't know when. This end will be of an unexpected nature. The abyss takes many forms. Any kind of death, any kind of torture. It's coming. Maybe I'll die as soon as I publish this, or an earthquake will destroy my home and all my possessions.

The question is: how do we take it?

A famous quote by Gandhi is: "Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever."

We panic and feel sad when we're about to die. People cry and do crazy things. Is that how you want to live your life? Looking at the finger on the trigger, waiting for it to release the bullet that will kill you? Well, at least he didn't say "live as if you were going to die in thirty seconds". But one day is still a very short time for us long-term blockchain investors.

How should we ride this bumpy road then? I myself like to imagine as if I were in a circus caravan. We move forward together and we dance and tell jokes, we eat when we're hungry, carry a small farm on the roof of our cars. We are free to be whoever we want to be, as eccentric and extravagant as we want. Paint your hair purple, walk on two hands and say that you love me.

Yet, people around us will still urge us to put most of our eggs in the old-age basket. Retirement, I hear. Work six days a week, nine hours a day, spend the rest of the time at the gym, the shopping centre and in your bed, sleeping, dreaming of vacations. I don't know why people want me to live like this, but the pushing is getting stronger by the day. Maybe I'll end up doing it for a while. Why? Peer pressure, I guess, that and not wanting to starve. I may need to make a tiny @amymya -style farm in my backyard.

How do you want to spend this tiny expansible moment before the abyss swallows you whole?