Add a bit of social anxiety!!
I haven't talked in person to someone who is not my family or therapist in months. I have a social centre nearby and I've been thinking of going just to talk to people, but I'm honestly scared to do it. I rationalise it and I know that there is nothing to fear, but then I think "what if they look at me weird for talking to them?" and that stops me in my tracks.
But it makes sense. It's not part of the social norm to go to a place with art exhibitions and randomly talk to people just because you wish to, you know, be social. But people have been telling me that I need to talk to others. I don't know what to do otherwise though.
Taking a course like dancing or chess or a martial art would probably be a bit extreme, right? It's far away from home, it'd take me like 40 minutes to get there, then 40 more to come back, just to talk to people. It's objectively better to go to the little exhibition full of snobs and coffee drinkers right a couple blocks from my home.
And then, boom, I'm overthinking it, but it's something that has been worrying me for two weeks (yeah, I've been planning for two weeks, without success, to go talk to people). So now that I know that I'm overthinking it, I stop thinking about it and go watch a TV show or write a new post and don't leave my house for a whole week until I have to see my therapist again.
Yay!
There are a few things that have been feeding into this:
- I used to have friends and other family members with whom I'd hang out and do fun stuff, but they have all left the country.
- The streets are also much more dangerous. I'm always looking behind my back and walking in very public areas, trying to look as inconspicuous as possible.
- Venezuelan public transportation is dead, so I need to walk everywhere and I live in the middle of nowhere.
- I'm poor so it's hard to eat out.
- Social anxiety + isolation = really big and strong social anxiety 💪
- The internet is really cool, so I can spend all of my time on it and I don't even notice that time is passing outside.
But overall I think that most of it is my reluctance to return to the normal state of things. If I go back to society, I'd be accepting the fact that I'm a member of it ("war on the System!"). It's kind of the same thing I talked about in this post I made about sleeping in the night. There is a certain pride in being different, but if this difference takes away from your health and you could turn it over and relinquish your "abnormality" in exchange for better circumstances, what are we really afraid of?
That discussion could turn into the philosophy of paying ransom to a kidnapper. You're more likely to get your important person or thing out of the hands of a criminal and back into your home, but is it the right thing to do to feed evil to get your joy back? Is it like signing a contract with the devil, your soul in exchange for satisfaction?
In summary, I want to go out there and talk to people. Not in order to feel normal again, because I will never feel normal, but just for the sake of social interaction. I think it's healthy and I've realised that I've started to forget how to speak in the many languages that I speak, even in Spanish.
Traveling alone was the best solution for me because it helps put you in situations where it is necessary to start conversations with strangers.
It's hard for me to say what I'd do in your situation because our countries are so much different. What kind of hobbies do you enjoy? Maybe finding a group on Steemit or Facebook to talk about the things you enjoy would be a good start. I know it isn't "talking in person" but it would give you a common ground to talk about your interests. I hope this helps!:)
Well, I already talk to people about my interests on the internet. I use Telegram and Discord for that. Good places. :) My hobbies are drawing, programming, writing and listening to music!
I had not noticed until I read this, but I think I have that same "problem", I have not talked to anyone outside of my closest circle, maybe, for a year, probably with a small exception.
Aaaaa, what should I do. Is it a Venezuelan syndrome?
I have no answer to that question. And yes, it probably has to do with the fact of migration, 90% of the people with whom I usually interacted are out of the country. Not to mention that collective depression makes social activity null.
Is it so difficult to have a conversation?
Not really but when you have social anxiety it is
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Well, it's hard to start a conversation. I can hold it well but how do I simply approach a person and talk to them? "Hi, I wanted to practice being social with you. Would you mind spending 10 minutes on me? :D"
It's a bit weird with strangers but you could start off with the weather or something about the situation when you're in a public transport... and then you said you know how to hold it ;)
Boredom. At least for me, haha. I talk frequently to people I don't know very well, but it is a very dry conversation usually because deep down I suffer the same sort of social anxiety. When I have a conversation it's usually stressful, thinking in the back of my head constantly "how do I keep this going? Should I? Do they care?" and stuff like that.
So, it's not quite as bad as yours but I can empathize as much as I can. It's a weird thing; talking to strangers. But, if you think about it, if it weren't for these social norms that make us so different, would it be weird? Would we risk embarrassment if we didn't have all these "things to be embarrassed about" implanted in our subconscious?