Life Journal: I Am Glad I Did Not Marry

There is a passage in the bible that says lucky are the women that did not bore a child/children. It is because Jerusalem in those days were sieged by the roman army commandeered by general Titus and being a walled city with gates and walls, those were closed and the city was shut and all the people within starved until some went into cannibalism as "the merciful mothers cooked their child."

So if I were to have a family in this time of tragedy in my life, it will just might be worst for my family as they would also suffer maybe emotionally and financially. This condition that I have is like a walking misery and it is hard to bear the pains and it radiates to the ones that sees or witnesses it from me. And if I were to have a family in these times, surely relationship will break and I had seen it before. Only the couples with a true love for each other survives.

I had seen again the one that I might had been taken as a life partner. There is something different now as the magic just disappeared. No more feelings that would even make a faster heart rate, no more blushing, or butterflies in the stomach, no more love. I am not in love to her anymore.

What could happen if the love for someone faded and vanished then you are tied already to that someone. It will feel like you are in prison. Surely you can learn yourself to love again but it will never be the same. So my gladness to not marry is quite purposed into two benefits for me. No one will ever suffer with me and I will save myself for the eventual unhappy marriage and it just also made me happier today that at least those two things didn't add up to my rather interesting life.