I Wanted To Sleep And Sleep But I Have To Grind 👷🏻♂️⚒😴🛌🏻
When the body of the Lord Jesus Christ died on the cross an earthquake struck the area of the temple and the curtains thereof tore into two but one thing is that some of the Christians that died before went alive again and some people saw it. The unlucky few got beaten and even sawed off with their limbs and some went to their families but some fled to the caves where they hid themselves.
It is the thing that will happen in the coming of Christ where I would finally see him after I rose up from my long sleep which is inevitable for most of us because most of us would die. I just call it a sleep because the real death was when you are cut off from those that will receive the eternal life which I myself is striving as well to attain if God would have mercy on my soul.
Anyway for now I really just wanted to sleep long and wake up at dialysis day because of the discomfort that I am subjected every passing day. It is hard to breathe and also pain all over. The food that my mother is preparing is also not good-tasting, a product of while she is growing up she was never taught of cooking because my grandfather that does the cooking in their home as she told me.
It just sucks to live this way, I am in a survival mode everyday and people in my position I bet really just also wanted to die or kill themselves too because of this type of misery in my life and also the trouble that I am causing my parents when we go for my dialysis session.
I do not know if when I would give up but I pray to God to give me more courage and strength so that I could make myself hold steadfast but in the back of my mind it is really time to let go. But again I am still wanting to see what lies beneath the days, what it would bring me plus cryptos keeps me motivated and get busy and distract myself from these things that troubles me.
So I am using the opportunity to earn at least a bit so that I could sustain my needs so that I could not see myself in a pitiful manner without money to spend for my important needs. For that I am really thanking the steem community because you all had been a part of my life even though I only knew you with usernames and your pleasant words that also comforts me.
I am really in a mixed feeling, I wanted to have a long, long sleep. I wanted to die and get my well-deserved rest but still I wanted to live and get the chance to live again normally even for a little bit of time. But whatever my fate in life puts me into, whatever the winds blows me into I am accepting. Meanwhile I am just trying to do the right thing to survive this wild and rough life that I was stuck into like a quicksand that devours me everytime I try to struggle and waiting for someone to heed my call, only a miracle really can now make a difference in my life.
Hi Arnold, remember what we talked about the STEEM tag?
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