I Threw A Tantrum Today

This Lion Also Tantrums
It is just a mild tantrum, I just don't feel good with what is happening to my body. Firstly I have a pain in both of my feet and it is difficult to walk, I just shuffle my feet in order to move my body in the bathroom.

Then I have this extra water in my body and I do feel it with my breathing difficulties. It makes me made having this condition because it is like a torture already. My medicines are also expensive and they are hard to take so sometimes I would skip a tablet in a day just to get away from their side-effects.

It doesn't stop there, I am also enduring an appetite issue and I am served with tasteless foods by my parents. Of course I appreciate the food but I could eat it so it would get wasted and fed to the neighbor's dog because our dog is already passed due to some illness. It makes me mad that it didn't get a treatment.

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Now I ended up eating some bread with margarine, I want a butter on it but my mother had bought a margarine instead. Talking about poor nutrition, I wanted to have a good food but I can't have it and even if I would get some I do not have the appetite to eat plus I have to mind the phosphorus so I have to take phosphate binder which would make things expensive. So I have to eat twice a day so I would not deplete my phosphate binder tablets. So that affects my weight which I want to gain but I could not gain weight.

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All of these things comes into my mind so I get mad with everything, myself, my body because I couldn't make things happen in my favor even if I am doing all what I can to change things and still heaven and earth closes down on me.