I Am So Terrified To Walk, I Can't Force It 😟😞👨‍🦯

My Body Is Different Now

Ever since that my stature had changed it made me hard to walk, at first it is like I am squeezed when I walk so it gets hard to breathe and then after a few months when my backbone had collapsed or shrunk it gets even harder plus with some pain I just preferred to lay down so that the pressure of being upright or being sitted won't cause me even more pain.

Pain is also the factor which prevents me from even trying to walk a short distance. I now really can't walk because if I do my feet would hurt as well as my back. I had done it before when my parents are not around because I had at that time the urge to go to the toilet that I can't wait for them anymore.

So because I just had woken up at that time and doesn't have much pain initially I managed to walk to our bathroom but it is really an ordeal doing that. So I had managed to use the toilet and had some shower contemplating at the same time on how I could get down that big step from our already raised bathroom area. But I managed to get down with a great difficulty even and then halfway to my room with the aid of a wooden chair as my walker I am already regretful on why I did that in the first place.

My Body Is Already Fed-Up With Pain And Medicines But Still It Keeps on Going

I promised myself never to walk on my own again because it was the point that all my body joints are crying out in pain considering that I haven't used any pain reliever prior. So whenever I wanted to use the bathroom I would take some NSAID pain reliever so that my body's joints would not get so painful while I am using the bathroom.

In my mind I can do it but the sentiment of my body would tell differently because even getting up from my bed is even a great ordeal already. There is still a worry in the back of my mind that things will continue to go south but I just have to do what I can to support my health even if I would spend a lot for just a control and not cure because I am afraid for the worsening of my body pain because it is not good to live with pain 24/7.

My Plans Would Not Work Out Without Community Effort So Everyone Should Be More Empowered And Painfully It Takes time

I am still crazy about longing for my body to return to normal or at least wash away the pain and stiffness in my joints completely. But I am still seeing some hope that everything would be fine if some factors are met and that is the valuation of cryptocurrencies which is my last card and actually the sole tool of hope that I am using to make my situation in this lifetime a bit more liveable.

I have no much ambition in my life but to normalize my life but of course the tides of my fate could go in a much unbelievable direction so I could go in some ventures like creating a business of my own or just a sustainable way of living for myself and my family so it is in the table if God wills it for me to achieve my goals but right now my focus is on my health alone because of this pain that I am experiencing which even in my nightmares didn't come to me and yet it is here and it is a reality that I have to fight with and manage through the help of steem community, my friends, and with the blessings from God.

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