Dear Diary: My Life Is So Lonely
Well this sucks because today I tried to walk and I cannot even stand up. I noticed that my mobile phone is not on my chair-table so I thought that my mother forgot to take it off from my pants last night after we had gone to the dialysis center. So I stood up with much difficulty and walk a bit to the door where my pants is hanging so I can get my mobile phone.
It is now such a chore even while standing up. Now I am feeling like a lit candle which is slowly being consumed by my own body.
I just hope to die because I realize that it is just madness to try to stay alive while I am suffering from this kinds of medical issues that I have.
If only I can do a suicide I have done it already but since I am a God-fearing person it is not an option because it is a sin but defying death, is it divine?
I am long overdue for death and my physical appearance shoes that. If not for this social platform/community I am long gone because I would not be able to sustain my needs.
What I fear in life is the agony of a lingering death and it is actually happening right now. I hope God would consider to take me now because it is really hard to press on and endure this kind of situation that I am into, basically alone and no one is caring if not for my parents and my friends online.
its lonely and cold on the asteroid where we wait for the warm majestic solar wind to transport us to mars (we skip the moon) 8 bedroom houses and lambos are under construction already
Don't give on yourself there is always hope and hope is the essence of our living, I will advice you to continue reading the Bible because it is the Bible that will give you happiness and hope in life knowing fully well that you are a child of God @cryptopie
😢 😢 😢
I'm so sorry to read that you are in such a state, hopefully you can catch some relief sometime soon! I wonder if maybe you could try to do Pilates to build up strength? It was originally designed to strengthen people who were not strong enough to get out of bed...
Be well @cryptopie
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Thank you for your concern @theb0red1
My body's weakness had been progressing over the years and now it came to a point that I cannot stand up easily or walk so I think the cause is systemic and no amount of exercise will improve it plus there is a pain involvement as well for my knees.
It sucks because I could not force myself to walk.
Stay strong, life can change in an instant. Work hard and stay positive.
The thing you need to fight for, is you.