Dear Diary: My Backbone Is Still Shrinking And I Am Deeply Worried

I feel now that my backbone is still shrinking due to the fact that I feel it in my chest bone as well, it gets painful to sit upright now. If you would imagine the backbone pulling the chest bone down so much that it bows down and it creates pain on my chest that is what is currently happening and I am worried about it.

It is said that soon I will be needing a ventilator or a breathing apparatus when it comes to worse. So I pray to God that it won't happen to me because I do not want to die not being able to breathe, that is my concern and I am afraid about it.

I can never be prepared about that scenario because maybe at that point I will not be able to use the bathroom by myself and it is a pitiful situation if I would be a living vegetable with a lot of expenses to worry about on the side.

I do not know why I am still surviving why my co-patients are all down resting in peace already with some only lasting for a few months. But my body really is tough nut to crack but maybe if I would get my necessary surgeries I would live for a much longer years.

I actually wanted to live long if my loved ones would also live long as well but if I would be left without relatives that I could have around I might as well vanish because it is really hard without somebody who cares about you even a bit.

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