Dear Diary: I Wonder How Big My Heart Is Now?
One thing that I am worrying about was my physical heart, I am supposed to have the enlargement of my heart simply because of hypertension as the load of blood volume makes it a burden unto the heart to pump blood in my system.
It is like a workout of the heart in a negative way because it may get big but it will mean a slow heart which will eventually fail in the end. I do not know but I am still alive until now despite in having a mediocre medical treatment all through these years.
But I feel terrible with my heart currently because I can really feel that it is struggling to beat with the palpitations that I am experiencing lately. I attribute it to the extra volume in my system because it happened before and is happening now but the last time it was rectified when I requested my former nurses to bring down my dry weight, it worked and I didn't suffer heart palpitations after.
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Now I can feel the palpitations and I am afraid that it will worsen my heart condition. Maybe soon it will fail and there is no doubt about it but I just wanted to not feel it coming as it scares me a lot I must admit.
Anyway it is not in my control what will happen in the future but for me I will just do what I can to make myself feel much comfortable while I continue with my quest in this lifetime where I am just surviving at the moment and not living at all. May God help me.
Yes may God help you. To live the best you can in the moments you have @crytopie for it is enough. Gentle hugs. And, lots of love. Which i hope will help your heart be happy in more ways than one. 💗💗💗
Thank you for your encouraging and kind words @yogajill
It is a hard life and it is getting ridiculous but I have to fight to survive this lifetime.
Hopefully the strain will be reduced in the coming days, sometimes a positive outlook can work wonders so think of the good things in life you have to lighten the load. Good luck and take care.
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