Dear Diary: I Really Have A Bad Time With My Sleeping And Breathing Lately

Last night I woke up again from my intermittent sleeping feeling so exhausted and again, so breathless. I blame it on my extra water from my body. My real weight was around 32 kilos only but now it is more than 40 kilos and I feel like I am slowly drowning now.

Imagine that extra water from my system and my blood pressure reacts to high levels, it could be the cause of my tinnitus. So I am scared that I might get a heart attack or worse a stroke. I pray to God that it won't happen or if it would happen I just wanted to die immediately.

I should have a normal blood pressure considering that my hemoglobin levels are normal but the extra water makes me feel ill especially when I walk and when I sleep I would be so exhausted that I have to meditate just to catch my breath again.

My nurses are so callous about my condition and I feel also that they have a way now of disposing me maybe because they do not want to deal with me or anything that pertains with me and they do confirmed it by calling me a potato because they said that I am always ignored.

Source

I am just all fed up with that dialysis center and maybe I would like to transfer to our town hospital and maybe there I could get a different health care service that I deserve and needed.

But I have to consider a lot of things before transferring so it is hard for me to do it because the town hospital dialysis center is charging extra ten dollars (approx) per treatment while in my current dialysis center charges six dollars per treatment.

What I want really is to have a good and clean room and consider the peritoneal type of dialysis where I can control my body fluids and I bet that it will really give some more freedom in the way I eat and my overall wellness. Please pray for me.