Dear Diary: Getting Ready Now For My Dialysis At The Dreaded 7:00 PM Schedule

I am just grateful that at least I am not as breathless today like in other weeks which means after dialysis I will feel much better. I had been controlling my fluid intake just to make me avoid breathlessness.

I had been trying to eat as much as I can so that I can replace water weight with a real fat and if possible, muscle weight so that it can also help me with breathlessness. I am always measuring my arm with my hands to see if they are getting fatter but I can see no difference.

I am still finding ways to get fat but I am always feeling guilty if I would eat much especially eating and drinking sweet foods because I fear of getting diabetes which I know is also a lifestyle-kind of an illness.

Weightloss has been my problem for so many years now and I do not know the cause since I am just eating regularly although I know that my eating amount and frequency is just too low and just enough to kill my hunger in most times.

It is only at dialysis I can eat as much because the cleaning action of the dialysis makes my appetite go back. I just wished that I can receive at least three times per week dialysis but it will surely deplete my health insurance and my savings will just get depleted fast after the allocation has been used so I am scrimping the 90 sessions that my insurance covers.

I am nonetheless happy with our government here in my country which makes sure that the citizens are enjoying an insurance that are people-friendly and I hope that my insurance would cover all of my dialysis sessions three times per week for a full year, then what a great thing it would be and I also hope that God would make it possible, I just needed more prayers for it to happen.