Ok my first hope for a publisher, the publisher I wanted was dashed this evening.

I am not going to get hung over on it, I felt optimistic. This is because they seek authors and promote on a digital basis, this was something that I wanted to do already but needed or at least felt that I needed some expertise on the matter. As I have no marketing experience, really I need everything the full package, I don't have the financial outlay to see this out. I am waiting for other publishers but as of yet there is no word, and then thinking about it I am not holding out much hope. I learned in a short space of time that confidence in your own work is just not enough, there is way too much critique out there which is demanding, and you must be able to provide it if you want to do this line of work.

Support and what I am learning.

The great thing from this was reading the rejection did not hurt me in any way, I did not feel saddened or angry, but I was angry at my self. About doubting my own writing ability, a key piece of info I gathered from the publisher was the found the premise interesting but it was not something they felt they could market? So does this mean that there is someone out there who will.
In the meantime I found a group here on steemit of writers, who have told me in the past few days how incredibly supportive they are of other writers, teams of editors ready and waiting to read my work.
So right now I am writing a short story for a contest, because they have asked for a sample of my writing to understand my style, to guide and mentor me so that I know what I am doing in the future.
At the same time to encourage me to enter contests to see where I rank, to take feedback and learn from it. So realistically speaking I honestly thought that you just write a novel, submit it and then its done. Whether it be self publishing or traditional, I learned this from watching movies. How wrong I was, people like J.K Rowling just hit lucky, but then they didn't because they spent a lot of time writing before they would have submitted their manuscript. I can't honestly say hand on heart that I did that.
I was too eager, I just wanted to see it out there with my name on it, too impatient where I need to learn patience. Its frustrating when you now have a clear picture in your life, which really you feel is ten years too late, and if I had of done it then how much further would I have been.

This is where I am angry.

Because I feel I always miss the boat just at the hurdle I don't want to miss it, and I feel here I am again where everyone is or was in the winners corner and I just made it that little bit later than I should have done. Had I have pursued this years ago I feel I would have been there too. But the main thing is the hear and now, thats what counts and I need to deal with the now and look to that point ten years from now.

I feel that I have a lot of work ahead of me.