Long story short, literally...

Don't buy Viagra in Kalm. I don't know why it is, if it's do to being expired, or just bad batches, but, if you want hard wood, Viagra out of Kalm is NOT the way to go. I'm as limp as the limpest of noodles, and that's after downing three times the recommended dose!

Suck my limp dick, Kalm! I'm about to unleash my Bahamut materia on your old-timey-town ass!