"Drowning" Acrylic on Canvas 36X36

Hello, my fellow Steemians :) This is carrotcake.

At some point of my life, I constantly felt like drowning.
Panic attack, eating disorder and depression were part of my everyday life.
The best hour of my day was at night when I tucked myself into bed, wishing that morning would never come.
Morning was a disaster because I would vomit right after I woke up. (Puking is not the best way to start the day, coffee and bagel are)

Few years ago, one of my high school friend living in the East Coast contacted me, asking if I could paint three paintings for him so he can hang them on the wall in his living room. It was the time when panic attacks were becoming more frequent and started to happen not only at night but also during the day. And it was the time when I stopped painting more than 3 years.

It was a pleasant surprise that he contacted me because we haven't talked for a long time after high school and he was one of the few people I actually spoked to back then.

I bought the supplies and started sketching out ideas and after a month since his commission, I completed the first one of the three paintings.

Drawing Acrylic on Canvas, 36x36.

He didn't ask for specific imagery so I enjoyed my freedom of painting whatever I wanted to, and here it is. The drowned man sitting on a bench in his apartment with koi fishes.

I still don't know the nature of his sudden art commission because it didn't really make sense to me. First of all, we never really kept in touch since I moved to California. Also, the shipping which he paid was pretty expensive because these were large paintings. I am the type of person who goes directly to IKEA If I want to buy something to hang on the wall. If I don't find anything decent in IKEA, my second option of be Joanne's or Michael's. My point is that he could have just gone to an art gallery and bought something there for the same amount of money he paid to me.
Secondly and most importantly, I wasn't even a good artist back then. Not that I am saying I am a great artist now but to be honest, I was horrible at painting and it kind of shows.

But who knows? maybe he liked my painting genuinely and was willing to go through all those hassles.
Maybe I should have just asked him directly, but I never did. He never said.

Ferris Wheel 36x36, Acrylic on Canvas

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