Briggsy's Quotes to Keep You Grounded #19

briggsy (64)in #life • 7 years ago (edited)

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Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will
-Suzy Kassem

If fear is the mind-killer (shameless Frank Herbert plug), than doubt is definitely the killer of dreams.

Back when I was growing up, I remember watching an episode of Family Matters that tackled the subject of "Fear of Failure." To make a long story short, Carl Winslow could write a police test to become a lieutenant, but he was afraid of failing. Steve Urkel informs Carl that he has Fear of Failure. This doubt had to be overcome. In the episode, Carl writes the test and passes, overcoming the doubts that hold him back.

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Doubt is like an invisible weight that holds you back when you are trying to progress uphill.

But sometimes it's not the fear of failure that holds you back. Sometimes we can be held back by the Fear of Success. You overcome your doubt of being able to succeed, but then you worry about what you will do once you are there. The responsibilities, the new problems you might face, and the other changes that come with progress. We remind ourselves that we are already comfortable where we are right now, and have doubts about our ability to handle the "next level." We might think, "One bird in the hand is better than two in the bush" (and any other sayings that come to mind).

But as the wise elders I've had in my life always said to me from time to time, "you'll cross that bridge when you get there." On the surface, this sounds like something captain obvious would say.

I like to think the saying has more depth to it. Aside from the lesson that it's not good to worry too far ahead about things we can't control, it also reveals what lies on the other end of the spectrum, as far away from doubt as you can get; and I speak of faith. No, not religion. Just faith.

Faith is the polar opposite of doubt. Every successful person on this planet all share the same attribute with each other, they all are able to project themselves forward in their mind and believe that something will work out. They aren't concerned with how they are going to cross that canyon up ahead; they already believe there will be a bridge waiting when they get there. If not, they'll build one. If they can't, than no one can and they move on to the next opportunity.

When we are certain about something, we then go about making it happen. This is why in speculative markets there are some who will buy into a stock when it's worth nothing, and then help to build up awareness of that stock. Or, they might just sit on it for a few years and hope to get lucky. But luck has nothing to do with any of this. Falling into an inheritance or winning the lottery isn't success. What you do with that good luck will determine whether you are successful or not. Some will go to Vegas and lose it all. Others will buy properties and become a landlord. Some might even travel for the rest of their lives. Some might settle down comfortably and be free of worry (if such a thing even exists for someone that is wealthy).

Luck is what we humans attribute to anything we cannot control the outcome of. At least, to anything we believe we cannot control. To a customer at a casino, they are hoping to get lucky. To the casino, there is no such thing, the odds are stacked in the casino's favor by design. In the long run the casino doesn't need to be lucky, because they are successful at taking peoples money in exchange for selling some good feelings to their customers. Even if one person does hit the jackpot, it is by design. The casino checked their background history, who they know and where they live, and decided it would be good marketing to let that person get "lucky." that person goes home and tells everyone, and next week the casino is getting new crowds flooding in, including the person coming back who "got lucky."

So instead of doubting yourself, consider that failure is not the end of the world, but that regret does last for a life time. You will get past your failures, but regret is baggage you don't want. The person who hesitated and didn't buy bitcoin at 1 dollar is going to be kicking themselves for decades, while the person who bought in just before a price correction will deal with their somewhat bad decision and move on, having learned to watch the markets closer and know next time when they should act. This in turn builds faith in one's ability to make the right decision, regardless of the outcome.

If you know you are making the right decision, you can still fail, but at least you will still know afterwards that you made the right decision. It's easier to start climbing again when you know it can be done, than to still be sitting at the bottom of a mountain trying to decide whether you should try. After all, it's more comfortable on flat land. It's boring, and often depressing, but it's comfortable.