The Doldrums (Week 6 Accountability Report)

Source:

When I think about other goals I have pursued as New Year’s Resolutions in the past, I realize that I often give up on them around this time of year. There is something about mid-February.

In mid-February, enough time has passed between the present and the first of January that it no longer feels like a new year. Rather than having the feeling that I am blazing out on an adventure and forging a new path for myself, I often find that I feel a little lost at this time of year, like I’m on a road with no signposts, a road that continues on and on and leads to nowhere.

I sort of have that feeling now, like the rest of the year is a vast open plain spreading out before me with no roads or landmarks to draw me forward, out onto a path that leads to somewhere.

Looking out toward the rest of the year when it appears to me like this is daunting. And doing the same thing that I have been doing for the past six weeks doesn’t feel like it will help me cross the vast open plain that I sense is before me.

I could be wrong about that, though.

There does seem to be one thing that is different about this year, and that one thing is all of the little accountability checks that I have built into my daily routine, accountability checks like weighing myself in the morning, recording my daily weight and exercises in a place that I am sure to see them on a daily basis, and, most importantly, writing these weekly accountability reports to share with all of you.

While these daily and weekly actions don’t feel particularly motivating right now, I have noticed that they do keep my mind focused on the root of my goal, which is exercising. I no longer go a day without thinking about exercise and how active I have been on that day.

Whereas in the past, when I gave up on my goals I often skipped doing what I intended to do for one reason or another and then thought about myself in a negative way (I didn’t do my exercises again today. Why can’t I bring myself to do them in the morning?), this year I have managed to avoid that thinking style and have, instead, begun thinking about what I can do to meet my goals. In other words, I have become more conscious of my goals and my daily actions. The goals and actions may not be exciting, but this awareness seems like it might be just the thing that I have been missing in the past.

Looking Forward/Looking Back:

As I have been writing this, it has occurred to me that I might be better off making a series of smaller, more specific goals to work toward on a weekly and monthly basis. Doing so, it seems, may not only help to keep me motivated, it may also be a way for me to create my own landmarks on the vast, open plain that is the rest of this year, landmarks that will keep me moving toward my ultimate goal of losing 10 kilograms and exercising on a daily basis.

Additionally, I have begun to realize that all of the snow shoveling I have been doing so far this year, while keeping me active, is really just a form of avoidance that has been keeping me from achieving my early goals of exercising daily. If I am going to be successful in this venture, I need to exercise on the days that I do and don’t shovel snow. The exercise routine must come first. If it doesn’t, I won’t be able to build the habits and make the lifelong changes that I am hoping to build and make.

With that said, I feel like I have taken myself back to the beginning of my adventure and now have to begin again with more perseverance. For the following week (and weeks), my goal is going to be to actually do my exercise routine on a daily basis. Rather than be satisfied with just shoveling snow for thirty minutes or more a day five days a week, I want to complete my exercise routine everyday and then, when there is snow to shovel, shovel snow in addition to doing my daily exercises.

This Week’s Accountability Report

Exercise:

Five out of seven days: Two with actual workouts, and four by shoveling snow (On one of these days, I shoveled in the morning and worked out in the evening). Another day, I shoveled snow for six hours.

Weight:

Today I weighed in again at 81.1 kg, which is what I weighed in at last Thursday.

Waist Measurement:

I didn’t take a waist measurement this morning. I felt bloated and thought that there wouldn’t be a change, so I decided not to take a waist measurement. I also worried a little that, with the bloated, gassy feeling I had, my waist would be bigger than what I initially measured it at, which was 107 cm.