RELATIONSHIP SHARKS
Is there a way we can talk about human without having to stress on relationship?
obviously No. Either young or old, male and female have a desire for the opposite sex, and as such establish an intimacy between them that is termed relationship.
The major breed of relationship is INTIMACY. Before a relationship can said to occur between two, some sort of intimacy had occurred.
Without having to define relationship, virtually everyone could tell one or two things right about it's definition.
The emphasis of my writing will be hammering on what I called Relationship sharks.
Just like what the weevil does to the beans, there are things that destroy relationships very fast in a blink of eyes.
I'll be examining two majors sharks:
- Cheating
For every relationship, cheating is the last thing one would have his partner do to them. Finding out that someone else is either competiting or has successfully gained your affection, time in the heart your partner is something 98 out of 100 won't condole.
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Cheating can be in so many ways.
In a very broad sense, cheating involves betraying a partner’s expectations about the type of contact the cheater has with others.
When a husband or wife, boyfriend or girlfriend, violates one’s expectations about what is appropriate, people feel betrayed. Keep in mind that relationships are not based on logic, but are influenced by our emotions.
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As a result, cheating is difficult to define because people differ in the type of contact they feel it is appropriate for a partner to have with someone else.
For example, some people believe that it is unacceptable for a partner to:
Flirt with others : engage in sexual talk with someone else.
Exchange personal e-mails or text messages.
Deny being married or in a relationship. Spend time with specific individuals.
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Engage in specific types of contact - sleeping in the same bed with another person.
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Purchase intimate gifts and presents for others
Chat online with someone else (online affairs).
Have sexual contact with someone else (physical infidelity).
Become emotionally involved with someone else (emotional infidelity).
Develop a crush or feelings for another individual.
Share their most private thoughts and feelings with someone else.
Become best friends with someone of the opposite sex. And the list could go on and on....
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Again, the main point is that individuals differ in what they consider to be an acceptable form of contact with other people.
At one extreme, some couples think it is acceptable to have sex and fall in love with someone else (see polyamory), while some people view flirting with another person as being inappropriate.
Cheating is complex because the definition varies so widely. However, when someone violates a partner’s expectations, the emotional outcome is the same - their partner feels betrayed and rejected.
Cheating is also problematic because couples rarely discuss exactly what their expectations are.
In any given relationship, what one person considers to be acceptable may differ from what a partner thinks is appropriate. Many problems arise in relationships because people do not see eye-to-eye on this issue.
And to make matters worse, many people do not like to define what counts as cheating. Many people prefer not to define what counts as cheating because by keeping the rules vague and ambiguous, it makes it easier to cheat. If you don’t know what the rules are, you really can’t break them - or some people like to think.
It’s a lot easier to deceive both oneself and a partner about cheating when the rules are not clear.
sourced: https://www.truthaboutdeception.com/cheating-and-infidelity/what-counts-as-cheating.html
- Dishonesty
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An act of shying away from doing what is right, or doing what you're known for May be termed dishonesty.
One might chose to keep a secret from a partner to keep away ill - feelings, this is absolutely a dishonest act.
A relationship without honesty is a relationship that is bound to fail. If you have been showing dishonest relationship signs with your partner (or you notice that they have been dishonest with you), it may be time to reassess your relationship, and figure out why you are even in it in the first place. Maybe your significant other is your best friend and the two of you normally have a stellar bond. If that's the case, then why aren't you being completely honest with them right now? When you don't have trust, what's left? Nada.
Honesty is the foundation of a relationship. And sure, little white lies told in order to protect your privacy and independence are fine on occasion. Everyone needs time to themselves or a night out with just their BFFs without having their significant other around. And, there is no need to share absolutely everything with the person you love. Some aspects of your life are just for you, and probably don't matter much to your partner anyway. However, being honest about things that have the potential to hurt the other person — that's what counts.
sourced : https://www.bustle.com/articles/143238-11-dishonest-relationship-signs-that-might-mean-youre-headed-for-a-breakup
Here are some signs of dishonesty...
• Keeping your phone away from your partner. Though everyone needs privacy but when it has grown to the point of hiding, passwording personal gadgets in a way that seems unusual becomes a case for reassessment.
• Falsification. This I can say is common to women precisely. In a bid to get more from their men, they tend to exaggerate and sway from the actual expectations. Some men do such too.
• Lying is the major form of dishonesty. Always saying red whereas it's white.
Feel free to share your thoughts about this topic.
Thanks for reading.
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Hi @bob-elr
The issue of 'relationship shanks' is unavoidable but understanding and maturity is the key. Some couple suspect each other in everything even when the partner is not doing any dishonest activity and once trust is lost in any relationship, it is as good as dead.
@dubem-eu
Yea you're right bro
Well said bro
Another shark is expecting to be loved instead of loving
If we all can love the way we want to be loved,relationship wont be as bullish as it is now
@jeanipearl
Wow I like that
Hello @bob-elr
These relationships sharks really destroy relationship a lot. My opinion will be for people to know what they want in a relationship and live by it.
I heard of the open relationships where cheating is not bad... Heard about it too?
@learnandteach01
That's odd to know cheating isn't bad in a relationship. I'm sure no one wants to take that.
Sure, I won't take that in a relationship. But the way the world is moving, many think cheating is a thing that can be done anyhow with no remorse.
Hello @bob-elr
Cheating and dishonesty as spelled out by you, are great killers of relationship.
Also, it is a pity that some people will enter into a relationship without even a clear understanding about what relationship is all about.
There should be understanding and the too parties involve must be willing to sacrifice. Most people are not committed to the relationship they are into. There is nothing like taken up responsibilities in their dictionary
I wish both parties have equal education about this topic. It would have be the best. Thanks for stopping by.
When people cheat in any arena, they diminish themselves—they threaten their own self-esteem and their relationships with others by undermining the trust they have in their ability to succeed and in their ability to be true.
That's true.
Hello @bob-elr
This is about the conclusion of the matter.
Another killer of relationships is when it is one sided, when all the sacrifices is just made by one party in the relationship. We must learn that in a relationship it should be a mutual thing not just a load for one person to carry.
That's how it should be.
A good relationship is based on trust. Thanks for sharing.
You're welcome bro
Facts. Thanks.