We speak "their language".

Error №1. Trying to solve the problem immediately climb into the past

Time

Often, we begin to communicate with another person by saying: "Why have you not done yesterday ... ?!"

- Why did you not send a report yesterday?

- Why did not you call?

- Why did not you tell?

What are we waiting for? What people jump into a time machine, he would come back and fix everything? Hardly ... In addition to the question "Why did you do yesterday ..." clever man begins to explain why he did yesterday for something did. Reasons are always many. And here it becomes insulting doubly: not only did it yesterday did not do so to him also not to undermine. I want to strangle him.

Error №2. Solving one problem thus create yourself the following

Adding a problem

Quite often we resort agitated colleagues to do something for them. A typical pattern: the customer asks to do some extra work, citing the fact that "It is very necessary!"

Someone refuses to someone in an attempt to make good colleagues prikladyvet superhuman efforts and performs a miracle: in a short time, working at night, doing what the customer asked for. It would seem that the problem is solved? Not at all.

Our successful actions in unusual situations may give rise to the expectation that this is normal behavior. The customer can start to think: "Yeah, that something has been done, we should talk more often, it is very necessary." Or worse, he might recall the situation when he came, and you refused, and decide what you ... then a little cunning. Paradoxically, you just, make a serious effort made to the customer well, and he begins to think about you worse.

Error №3. Complaining instead of solving

complaining

At one of the training team manager raised an interesting question: how can I, said the slow shake of engineer? Here are all the team work quickly while one thumb their tasks and provides three times less than the result?

The first question that arose: and you that engineers say how much it makes it a little bad? Man is not an idiot, he sees that makes less than the others. But maybe he thinks that others do poorly, and he does slowly, but accurately.

It turned out that the manager had discussed the issue with your supervisor, training department - all except the man himself. This is called: complain. The problem must be solved with those with whom it can be solved.

It is irritating that your yard is not speed bumps, and schoolchildren in the mornings trying to dodge the owners of fast cars? Discussion of the topic and his wife - the same error. After all, the spouse is unlikely to set the speed bump. A write request to the traffic police is closer to a solution, right?

we can consider individual cases of complaints publication's own dissatisfaction with what else in his blog. The man who can solve the problem, actually read your blog? Come on. Write better for him personally, then the probability that he will read to rise significantly.

Error №4. We speak "their language"

We speak your language

Quite often, in conversation with subordinate managers operate with such concepts as "team spirit", "motivation of the team," "project handling." These words perfectly perceived by managers, but for the ordinary worker, they often represent a sort of white noise, Manager blah blah blah "Ponauchili them there in these courses do not understand what ..."

Moreover, if the manager asked to explain what he meant, thinking he explains. Just a little heads think other categories (it is neither good nor bad - probably why they are set to manage the project). But other people think of these categories are not required.

At the same time observed that all people (it is important to repeat that all men) pretty good listen to the facts. Fact - the thing is, it is hard to argue with him. But the fact that such a team spirit, you can bet. What is it - the smell of the team? You come into the room, and there is such a hard team spirit ...

Error №5. human error instead of solving the problem

Not the goal

In our head all mixed up pretty tight. And we often do not share the problem, the cause, the problem of man who created it, as well as the one who told us about this problem. In ancient times, some places are not separated and executed just a messenger who brings bad news.

In our reality, the work is not executed, but have, so to speak, the psychological pressure, "What the fuck is your expert level ..." "Why should I graduate Bauman / St. Petersburg State University / KPI / ... explain ..." "Your mother is ..."

Any impact may give rise to a human emotion that is not clear then how to manage. Time to overcome these emotions - this is the time when the problem is not solved. And if a person is under pressure, something still does, see Error №2 -. Easier with this man will continue to work? What will he do behind your back? Good questions to think about.

Error №6. Getting to decide what does not need to decide

decide what you need to solve not

Sometimes the problem is perceived that does not affect the work and even theoretically can not influence. But much annoying manager: the appearance of staff, the lack of a jacket and tie, and so forth.

No, it is clear that if people frequently communicate with customers, it would be good to have the snot out of the nose is not hung. But the engineers really start programming better if they wear jackets? It is safe to say that they will work worse because worsen their relationship to the chief who offers an incomprehensible crap no one needs.

If you personally something annoying, but it does not affect and can not affect the work, in whom the problem? Who should it decide?

Error №7. Wrong aim is

Wrong aim is

Periodically consult management approach: "I have a lot of employees sit in social networks. I was thinking, to close them to get access to job zakolosilas. However it is better to do? "

Quite an interesting scheme, if you think about it. The unhappy manager? Seat people in the social networks? Oh come on! If people sat in the social networks, but the performance results grew, the weight would be great. So?

Accordingly, the lack of a decent manager dissatisfied with the working results. He sees a lot of people sitting in social networks. And then there is the manager of the hypothesis that they are sitting in Facebook → they do not work. But these hypotheses is complete, if you think about it:

People are not interested in what they do they do not work  and what to do? sit on Facebook

People do not agree with how the estimated results of their work  they do not work and what to do? sit

They have a head of an idiot  ...

In each case it is necessary to understand separately, but to begin to understand, it would be good to put the right purpose - for what you want to achieve in the end. I wish that the results were decent. and not to all ceased to sit in social networks, right?

Error №8. not ready

It is necessary to prepare the case

For many people, there is a misconception that they are able to communicate. By this fallacy of their sum decade of communication in the mother tongue. Well, actually, once we all kommunitsiruem? One can explain in the dining room somehow managed to find a spouse and to convince him to live with us, such as bringing up children. 

All this, however, does not negate the fact that some conversations do not need to prepare for, and some need. And for quite some need to prepare for a long and carefully, using the right tools.

Remember how long have you been preparing for the last three debates on the job? Think through whether the other point of view? whether the objectives of the parties were analyzed? A set of arguments? The smallest, what we are willing to accept? This prescribed course?

Well, that's a lot like this: will get into a fight, but we'll see.

Error №9. We do not think the situation might look like from another person

The situation may look from another person differently

"When you think you're talking to an idiot, most likely, it seems to him the same thing." People behave as we do not like, not just like that. It is unlikely that they have such a vital mission zatrollit you to death. Most likely, there is a specific reason why they behave this way:

They reach a certain goal

They do not want to look bad in the eyes of others

They want to clean up the mess that's such a strange way

Indicate that your past proposal was stupd

Unless you understand this, trying to convince - it's shooting in the dark, at random: guess / not guess.

Error №10. Choosing the wrong time and place to discuss

the wrong time and place to discuss

In recent years, one can observe the conflicts in the comments in social networks and forums. They can not be fundamentally resolved there: because of the presence of spectators. Someone is ready to respond to zoom into Facebook to publicly say: "Yes, I was wrong, you have to convince me?" No, uncovered the trophy kakashkomety and on!

It is impossible to resolve the conflict in correspondence with the audience (in the comments or in the copies of e-mails). Conflicts are resolved privately in conversation, and phoned. And then the audience can write what you came.

The same applies to time. If a person runs somewhere, and he was something presses on the brain (the crisis in a project requiring urgent to solve a problem of a spouse, etc.), he will not listen to you.