Stop Complaining About Being Stuck in the "Friendzone"

Moment Of Silence For Our Fallen Comrades

We've all been there before. After showing your interest in a girl for several months (or possibly years) you decided to finally tell her how you have been feeling about things. She might have seemed completely shocked and taken off guard initially, and then proceeded to tell you that she views you strictly as a friend. Maybe you have been interested in a girl for a while, and suddenly she begins displaying clear signs that she isn't interested in you like that; like talking about other dudes in front of you. At this point, you have two choices: you can either choose to be the guy who pathetically holds on to her, and is perfectly fine with her dumping other guy's baggage on you, even though you want more with her. Or, you can distance yourself from her. I've never been in the friend zone per say, because as soon as I find out that that's all that I am to her, I'm out. I have come to realize that in "friendships" between girls and guys, it is rare to find a case where atleast one doesn't have some interest in the other in a more-than-just-friends kind of way.

Stop Calling Yourself a Good Guy

I see a lot of posts from guys complaining on social media about how much of a victim they are and how they "the good guy" has been friend- zoned in favor of the "bad boy". First off, there is a lot of truth in the fact that, for whatever reason, girls tend to go after the dangerous, hard-to-attain man, and prefer the guy who is indifferent to her existence versus the guy who would put his head on a silver platter for her. If you are "the good guy", these women aren't the kinds that you will want in the long-run anyway, but I understand that it is difficult to swallow the red pill that sometimes male-female relationship dynamics are completely counterintuitive, and run against everything that we have been taught growing up. Don't refer to yourself as a "good guy". Good compared to what? Let other people decide whether or not you are a good guy. In today's age, to be considered a "good guy", you basically just need to not be a rapist. The bar has been set extremely low unfortunately. You can be a "good" guy who watches porn on his laptop every night, doesn't do anything with his life, but is a nice person. This kind of guy is frankly no victim.

Physical Attraction is Important

The next point I want to bring up is the fact that I realized that in my life, I have no reason to complain about being "friend-zoned", when I have done the EXACT same thing to girls who have liked me. The truth is, that there needs to be mutual attraction, almost always physical attraction required to initially catch the interest of the opposite sex. If that initial physical attraction is not there, then you are fighting an upward battle from the start. You think that you can show her how awesome you are as a person: how funny, how smart, how caring, but often-times will get shafted for some other guy with a six pack. When I think about myself though, I have rejected girls who showed how much they cared for me. They would buy me things randomly, write me cards for my birthday, and to be honest, it was probably for shallow, superficial reasons of not being physically attracted to them. I think this physical attraction is a very overlooked aspect of the friend-zone. If you were still the same nice guy, in addition to being super attractive, then I think you would have zero problem finding interested women.

Pack Your Bags

None of this stuff is easy my friends. I guess all I am trying to say, is that if you are really into someone, even deeply in love with them, but those feelings are not reciprocated, you need to move on. Very few people ever escape from the friend-zone except for rare circumstances where the guy and the girl both had thoughts of being more at some point, but were afraid to bring up their feelings out of fear of what the other person is thinking. I have seen so many guys, including my friends, desperately holding on to women who walk all over them and use them as a shoulder to cry on. Who knows? When you withdraw from her, you probably have your greatest shot of her missing you and possibly realizing that you are the kind of guy that she wants to be with. You are not a victim of the friend-zone, you voluntarily place yourself there.