Goat Of Ages: Comedyopenmic 41

I've taken my time to document my experiences in Kaduna for everyone to see, I've laid all my feelings bare and honestly speaking, virtually all my recent posts have indeed been my real life experiences in this place. I'm not going to lie to you, its a very weird place; not simply because its a Muslim area but because of how the goats look at me.

Now I don't know what it is with Muslims and having so many goats but I'm definitely alarmed by their shear number. I recently encountered one interesting goat while walking out of my place and heading into town; it had a base colour of dark brown with few patches of black close to its butts, judging by the size of the huge dangling pendulum-esque contraption, I'd say it was the alpha male of the herd. It had a horn that was atleast 1 foot long and a goatee nearly the same length. From neck to hoof, I'd say it was about 4ft tall and measured about the same in length(it was big enough for @karensuestudios to ride).

Now I live in Nigeria and virtually all our politicians are big goats but this goat in particular is the mother of all goats; when it climbs up a rock, it casts a majestic goat shaped silhouette on the road, the space between its balls kinda looks like a giant apple shaped umbrella.

There was this one time, I saw it humping a female goat, now I'm no goat whisperer like (@amirtheawesome1) but I could swear she was smiling. There was this look of accomplishment on her face, it left me ponderous as I continued my walk to the bus stop.

I'm not alone in this admiration, the goat is a monument in the area, people are not allowed to take pictures with it, neither is anyone allowed to even harbour the thought of eating it, it is the goat of all goats. I remember the day of the humping, myself and others watched in amazement for what was probably 1 minute of pure bliss for the lady goat he was smashing; a strange woman, probably in her forties, clutched her son's palm in hers, muttered behind me "must be nice" and continued walking on to the bus stop, I couldn't see her face properly partly because she walked briskly and partly because I was in awe of this goats but it was obvious the kind of impact this goat has on the society. I know you might be thinking "there's nothing special, its a 1 minute goat" but thats no ordinary feat in goat terms, it is the equivalent of 4hours for humans. The goat of all goats, that bleets through time and its supreme goatliness challenges me. I want to be that GOAT.

I nominate @trumpman @bitfiend @steemmatt @detlev @dobartim