BEASTLY TALES

THE PARADOX

Daisy Groggins did so adore,
Her young and handsome paramour.
Her husband Chadwick Groggins,
Was up early, drinking noggins,
He was sly, like a fox,
Oh, what a paradox.
Since the fact did not gel,
That his misses got on well,
With Horace Hardwick,
Holder of the yardstick,
For the local carpentry firm,
And, yes, he was a nasty worm.
Not to be trusted with another’s wife,
Going out of his way to cause strife.

Chadwick Groggins was bald and fat.
He’d wear a lumberjack type hat,
That did nothing to lessen his moronic look,
But, nevertheless, he chased after the cook.
Her name was Nellie Lag,
And she was undoubtedly a bit of a hag.
Now Chadwick thought he had the best of both worlds.
A lady friend who was somewhat lewd,
Along with a provender of food.
He thought, “If only I could get her a job at the Pub”,
“I’d have dalliance, beer and grub”,
“All rolled into one venue”,
“And I could upgrade the menu”.

Now Horace Hardwick came along,
Happily humming the latest song.
He was unctuously ingratiating
And Chadwick was, him, even more hating.
Fulsome and smarmy, decidedly smug,
Chadwick wanted to squash the bug.
Like vermin all over the globe,
Chadwick and Hardwick into the others affairs did probe.
“For entertaining after the day”,
“Do you find that everything is O.K.?”
“What do you do to keep amused?”
Hardwick now deftly refused,
To answer such a loaded question,
It could give one indigestion.
He took out a photo, “This one drives me crazy!”
And he showed Chadwick a picture of Daisy.
Now Chadwick’s jaw did drop wide open,
He had been there, always hopin’,
That Daisy wouldn’t lose interest in him,
Although he well knew she wasn’t prim.
Hardwick had made Chadwick a cuckold,
Chadwick now felt exceedingly old.
Said he, “I’ll now go down to the Pub,
For a dalliance, a beer and some grub.”