BEASTLY TALES

THE MINOTAUR

Siegfreid Von Munchhausen owned a mountain in Bavaria,
It had a tunnel system like a Labyrinth, only scarier.
The tunnels were a relic of World War Two.
Now, what, with this asset, could Von Munchhausen do?
He was very rich, and somewhat balmy,
And so he thought he might raise an army,
Which, to attack, could be released in waves and waves,
From this fabulous system of endless caves.
But, who would his extensive army attack?
Would they rape and pillage, also sack?
There was now NATO, a force with which to reckon,
A more peaceful solution, perhaps should now beckon?

He decided he should, in his labyrinth have a Minotaur,
He wanted the fiercest Minotaur one ever saw,
With a bull’s head and tail, and a man’s body,
He wanted first class, nothing at all shoddy!
So he advertised in the local rag, “Der Speigal,”
For an experienced Minotaur, only Regal.
Of course, as we know, Minotaurs are found in Greek Mythology,
So there was no response to his many ads, his Greek anthology.
He briefly considered searching for a Medusa,
But gazing at her would be no seducer,
Those that did, so it is said, were turned to stone,
An aspiration to which Munchhausen wasn’t at all prone.

Munchhausen now considered Wagnerian Opera shows.
Seemingly perfect for his tunnels where anything goes.
His cavernous system would make a grand stage,
For the most extravagant Wagnerian Opera of this age!
So they cast many robust singers and dancers,
Olympic standard, so agile, athletic prancers.
The leading lady, all other leading ladies would surpass,
Yes, a large Wagnerian Lady, with a voice that shatters glass!
Came the night of the first performance,
The public response was simply enormous!
Lines of fancy cars patiently awaited,
Clearance to proceed up the mountain road elated!
Yes, elated at the prospect of such a fine show,
They certainly didn’t mind having to go slow.
The caves were so huge, there was undercover parking.
A restaurant had been built, no hunger pain narking.
Soon a five star hotel would fill the rest of the caves,
The Minotaur would have no space to keep captured slaves.

Siegfreid Von Munchhausen had now struck it big!
He had even bought a new powdered wig.
For he dressed fancily, like a seventeenth century dandy.
Frills and pantaloons, the colours of candy.
On the opening night, the champagne did freely flow,
Adoration followed Von Munchhausen where-ever he did go,
He was, at last, the toast of Bavarian Society,
But, with so much champagne, he had lost his sobriety.
And teetered off, into the labyrinth cave,
He tipsily turned to give a proud wave.
On to the nether regions where work hadn’t started
Feeling light-headed, and most light-hearted,
Until he heard a loud bellowing sound,
Then he saw a huge Minotaur slowly turn around!
Then it let out a simply ear-shattering bellow,
Causing Von Munchhausen’s knees to turn to jello!
Of course, we know Minotaurs to be pure fantasy,
But, then, Von Munchhausen is too, as we can clearly see!
So, what eventually became of him we cannot truly say,
Did he, and the Minotaur have a dreadful fray?
Or did they become best of friends? We simply cannot say!