BEASTLY TALES

THE HIGH LIFE

Now, Reginald Ribald was given to wishing,
That he was otherwise occupied, may-be fishing,
He thought teaching mathematics boring,
He desperately wanted to be “out there” scoring.
Yes, scoring with lucrative business deals,
Scoring with the ladies, affection he feels.
He wanted to be scoring, to improve his life,
Perhaps, he wanted to score a lovely wife.
Certainly, he didn’t want to teach unappreciative snotty brats.
That buzzed around his classroom like bloodthirsty gnats!

Reginald Ribald got out of bed, feeling a fool.
Starring down the barrel of another day at school.
Pandering to that group of snivelling learners,
When he should be “out there”, with other high-paid earners.
“Drat!” said he, as he tied his shoe laces,
“That I’m not doing so, is one of my disgraces.”
“I think I’m going to hand in my notice,”
“No more contemplating my navel, next to a lotus.”
“Oriental self-contemplation doesn’t cut the mustard,”
“I need counsel from somebody who can be trusted.”
So, Reginald Ribald went to a “Shrink”,
A psychoanalyst, to help him to think.
“What should I do?” He whimpered aloud.
That psychoanalyst then did him proud.
“Vot you are needink, is a change in aim.”
“You vill need to dis-continue self-blame!”
“You vish to do better dan other good folk.”
“De fact dat you’re not is a bit of a joke.”
“Go now, and chuck in your lousy job,”
“But I vish you to pay my fees first, you look like a slob!”
“Den go buy some Futures in commodity wheat,”
“Dis vill be your first new step on your feet.”

This, Reginald Ribald did take to heart,
Determining, right now, to make a fresh start.
His students cheered, when hearing he’d resigned.
Realistically, you wouldn’t expect them to have pined!