BEASTLY TALES

TENANTS FROM HELL

We certainly don’t mean to disparage,
Frank Lee Stupefy, who lived in a garage.
He was asset rich, to own his own house,
But cash starved, poor as a church mouse.
So he moved into his garage and rented the dwelling,
To obtain cash from rent, better than selling.
The only problem with this solution,
Was that renting out may bring in pollution.
In the form of bad tenants, no respect for others,
The result of bad-egg fathers and mothers.

Alas, this proved to be so in the case in question.
So much so that it gave Frank Lee indigestion!
A family it was, or supposedly so,
A father who drank, a mother whose word flow,
Caused offence with every word uttered,
To slow down her expletives, one wished she stuttered.
The children looked to have fallen from the back of a truck,
Everywhere, all the time, they did run a muck,
They agreed upon rent, couldn’t afford a bond,
Saying, “We’re honest folk, we’ll never abscond.”
As one might expect, they all smoked,
“Our children started young,” the parents smilingly joked.
“Please note, no smoking in the house,”
Frank Lee imploring the father louse.
“Right as rain,” said he, as he searched for a lid,
To use as an ashtray in that house where he did,
Now live, with his chain-smoking family most foul.
Their vandalistic children ran off, on the prowl.
“We’ll have a few parties, hope you don’t mind,”
“If we use drugs inside, will you get in a bind?”
“I do up old cars, need a source of spare parts.”
“So I’ll be parking some wrecks brought in by carts.”
“I hope you like hard metal music, good and loud,”
“We like to dance when we have a crowd.”
“We do Karaoke on party nights too,”
“And, of course, we’ll invite you!”
Frank Lee fingered the first weeks rent.
Should he leave his garage and live in a tent?
But he needed cash, his life to enhance,
So he gave into temptation, take a chance.

They stayed for three months, rent in arrears,
Then the realization of Frank Lee’s worst fears.
They had scampered with rent overdue.
No forwarding address for Frank Lee to pursue.
They’d trashed his house in a major way,
And made his life hell, during their stay.
They say that charity begins at home,
Frank Lee was moving to Alaska, yes, Nome!
He’d, unwittingly, been more than charitable with his tenants from hell,
Their outrageous behaviour had caused him to sell!