BEASTLY TALES

PRUNUS PURGATIVUS

Aunt Petunia just loved her prunes,
They kept her regular, she ate them with spoons.
She generally bought those unpitted,
Cheaper, but tasted the same, and pits could be “spitted.”
Yes, “spitted”, or if you prefer, spat!
And that’s how she disposed of pits, that was that!

A prune is, of course, just a dried plum.
This, in itself, is really somewhat humdrum,
But keep in mind the benefits to one’s health.
To be able to walk to the loo with confidence, not stealth.
Sitting serenely as they moved their bowels,
Not given to grunting and frustrated growls!

Aunt Petunia, seated at a hotel breakfast table,
Was partaking of prunes and bran, as she was able.
Oh, dear! The prunes had pits quite large.
Only by spitting could she, these discharge.
And so, to nearby diner’s great consternation,
She spat them into the air, yes, elimination.
From thence, their trajectory brought them back down.
To a saucer on the table, Tuscan brown.
But, occasionally due to exuberance and gravity,
An errant pit would shoot from her mouth cavity,
At an accelerated speed, forming an arc,
Whereby, in some other diner’s plate it would park.
Exclaiming with indignation that diner would look,
With considerable venom at Aunt Petunia’s “mistook”.
Well, Aunt Petunia’s “mistake” at least.
As she resumed to partake of her prune and bran feast.

Yes, Aunt Petunia liked to have prunes so she could relax.
And avoid harsh purgatives, such as TURBOLAX!