BEASTLY TALES

OTTO MOVES HOUSE?

Otto lived in a most modest dwelling,
For a while he’d been thinking of selling,
It was strategically placed between a pub and a club.
The German Club, to be precise, and the pub,
Was known as the Prince of Wales,
The Royal Plumage on the sign regales,
It to be an establishment of note,
Bulging with customers whose time they’d devote,
To drinking many schooners of beer,
An occupation they did hold most dear.
The Katzenjammer family lived up the street,
The parents or brat kids he did occasionally meet,
Down the street, the other way,
The Shieskopf Bakery did hold sway.

Otto had seen a unit, nearer the beach,
He thought, “The sound of surf, my ears might reach.”
So he instructed an agent to Sell, Sell, Sell!
Although knowing his house to be a mess pretty well.
It didn’t take long before Otto had an offer,
But with not enough money to put in the coffer.
To buy the unit, he’d need thousands more,
The insulting offer he had had hurt to the core.
Realistically the real reason for moving,
Revolved around the Katzenjammers, who were proving,
To be more than just a little tiresome,
Enraging Otto, causing him to be iresome,
Thought Otto, “If I am unable to move,”
“I can disrupt their existence smooth,”
“Perhaps I can make it intolerable for them,”
“The Katzenjammers, from whom the problem did stem,”
“To stay living in this street,”
“And at the German Club to eat.”

Wolfgang Katzenjammer worked in a store,
In the menswear department on the fourth floor.
Otto decided that, with his friend Fritz,
They would write to the owner with juicy bits,
Of information about Katzenjammer’s affair.
With a lady who worked down the stair.
They also concocted letters from the Von Trapps and Herr Goering,
These letters were similar, also most boring.

One day Otto walked briskly down the street.
He was on his way to get something to eat.
A For Sale sign was in front of the Katzenjammer home.
And then he saw the bald Katzenjammer dome.
Wolfgang said to Otto, “I must share the news,”
“I’ve been promoted, and so we’re moving, to the Mews,”
“Affordable with my pay raise,”
“My boss couldn’t give me more praise,”
“It seems he thought I was seeing his floozy”
“My alleged indiscretion, even though not choosy”
“Made his wife believe that he had never had,”
“Any inclination, at all, to be bad.”
“So my friend,” said Wolfgang, “I’ve hit the mother-lode,”
“But don’t be downhearted, because the Mews are just down the road!”