BEASTLY TALES

AN INSIDE JOB

Big Louie scratched his butt, and said, “See?”
“From prison bonds, I’ll soon be free!”
“My high-priced lawyer’ll get me out on a technicality.”
“In fact, I’m planning to be home for tea.”

Louie’s lawyer, one Bertram Snide,
Twisted the law, until it was open wide.
“We’ll say you were insane, at the time of the crime.”
“Not hard to believe, you being covered in grime.”
Big Louie, who was a crime boss from the East End,
Was, indeed, most surely around the bend,
“I’ve had it up to here,” said he, touching his chin.
“But I’d sooner be in jail, than the Looney Bin!”

“With my lawyer, I have an appointment”
“I sure hope it don’t lead to disappointment”
Big Louie had been caught with his hand in the till.
That he’d been caught was a most bitter pill.
“Well, it wasn’t my own hand actually,”
“But one of my boys, factually.”
“He was a bit slow, off the mark,”
“Quite dimwitted, in fact, in the dark.”
“But he fingered me, for the crime,”
“And because of that, I’m doing time!”
“He’s a stool pigeon, to be sure,”
“When I get out, I’ll administer a cure!”
“Stoolies don’t fare well, in our game.”
“It’s essential to ensure no-one’s to blame!”

Bertram Snide busted that case open wide!
If the Stoolie stuck around, it’d be suicide!
Although the police found it a bit of a pest,
They were then charged with false arrest.
Big Louie was, indeed, home for tea,
All because of a legal technicality!