How to Deal With Difficult People - Using Control

How many times have you heard that you can't control what happens to you? Maybe a major problem has come up and you aren't sure how to handle it. Or maybe you don't know how to make any positive changes in your life. The first step to change is to realize that there are things you can control.


Each day, you get a chance to change how you approach your day by choosing what you want to focus on and then take better care of you. Try these three things to focus on what you can control. First, practice gratitude. Even in the face of every day stress, those who practice gratitude can discover things for which to be thankful, but it really takes work. It requires you to focus on things that count. And one thing that counts is feeling good about yourself each and every day.

Second, look for and seek out those who have got control over their lives. Mahatma Gandhi said, "Lanka was given to me by a mother who never wanted a child, yet she gave me a faith in her heart that I should not look at defects as causes of misery, but rather as indications that I had done something right." That's what Gandhi meant when he said, "I didn't think I had to worry because I was doing the right thing." So try to focus on what you can control, like being happy and loving each day and knowing that your work matters.

Third, focus on what you can control by working at it every day. Do your best and look forward to every day. Be thankful and energetic for your blessings and opportunities. Surround yourself with people who encourage you and support you. Learn to let go of things that don't matter so much and focus on what matters most.

Fourth, see the glass half full instead of focusing on how bad things are going. People often say, "If only I could do this, everything would be OK." But that's impossible. So focus on what you can do and let anything else happen later. If you want to improve yourself, focus on what you can do and forget about the negative things.

Fifth, accept the reality that there will be ups and downs in life. We experience ups and downs of everyday. Don't get discouraged and start expecting miracles. Just learn to embrace the ups and look at them as natural occurrences that you and everyone around you has to deal with.

Finally, understand that if something terrible happened, you have control over it. Focus on what you can do every day to manage difficult situations that come your way. For example, sometimes a breakup is inevitable. But if you focus on what you can do every day to make things better, then you can get over the situation without the use of crying alone. Your friends will be there to support you, and they will let you know what you should and shouldn't do to get over the breakup.


Remember, when it comes to dealing with difficult situations, life is not always a bed of roses. There will be ups and downs, and you will have good days and bad ones. But if you choose to focus on what you can control, things will eventually turn out to be all right. You can control what happens to you and those around you. So let go of the control, take a deep breath, and keep focusing on what you can do. Everything else will follow.