Self-Esteem Is Not About Ability

If you're wondering what self-esteem is not about ability, you have to look no further than the inner critic in your head. This little voice keeps telling you that you're doing something wrong and that you're not achieving much, if anything at all. The self-esteem boosters that you've been getting, the positive reinforcement from others that say, "You can do it!" all have one thing in common: they are not helping you build your self-esteem.


I've talked about the lack of self-esteem in our society and how that relates to the lack of success as a whole. We talk about the poor economy, the fact that most of us have been laid off, and about our personal challenges with weight loss and health. But few of us address the very fundamental issue that contributes to the success or failure of our lives: how we feel about ourselves. The way that we perceive our self-worth is directly related to the way that we perceive the world.

The more successful we are, the better we understand how to create wealth, health, relationships and career success. And the more we understand how to achieve all of this, the more self-esteem we feel. But we need to understand that in order to build self-esteem, we must first be able to build a solid foundation of self-beliefs and values. And it's important that this kind of foundation starts way before we're actually facing some adversity or some challenge in our lives.

As a child, for example, we learn not only what our "parents" expect of us, but also what we should expect of ourselves. We're taught not only what our strengths are but also what weaknesses are. If we start to develop our self-esteem in early childhood, it will be much easier for us as adults to accept what go wrong and how to overcome them.

As an adult, it is important that we do the same thing. Instead of just trying to live up to what others tell us we "should", we should first look at what our true strengths and weaknesses are and how to work on these to become the best person that we can be. If we start doing this when we are younger, we will feel better about ourselves from an early age and this will impact all aspects of our lives.

Another example is with our physical health. We all want to be healthy, but only a small percentage of us actually get our body in better shape. We are not going to be happy if we never see an increase in our metabolism, or if we gain weight. However, if we are constantly weighing ourselves down by how we look or what we weigh, we could see an increase in our health as a direct result.

A third example is with our finances. If we are always concerned with where we are going and what we are spending, then this can be destructive to our financial state of affairs. Instead of worrying about where we are spending too much, focus instead on increasing your income. This can lead to more financial success, but it can also lead to building up a better sense of who we are, our ability to succeed, and our value as a person.


In conclusion, self-esteem is not about ability. It is much more about how we understand who we are and what we value and how that impacts our ability to live a successful life. If we feel good about ourselves and our abilities, we will have the motivation and desire to try hard and to reach goals. Because when we make a mistake or fail at something, instead of dwelling on it and making it our fault, we can assess how we can improve our performance and use it as an opportunity to grow and learn.