What do I do when it's midnight and I am dealing with my usual insomnia?  I come up with ridiculous blog ideas to share with you all.  You're welcome.

The reason why I am calling this recipe "Gourmet" Prison Spread, is because I had the luxury of using typical kitchen items such as a stove and microwave.  Something tells me that prison cells do not come equipped with a fully stocked kitchen.  For instance: they typically cook their Top Ramen in a trash bag but for the sake of not wanting myself or anyone else to get plastic poisoning, we will go ahead a use a pot and stove.

Another reason why I call this"Gourmet" is because I used Sriracha mayo instead of mayo packets because I have a slight Sriracha obsession.

Let me also add that I researched all different ways that spread is actually made in prison so this is a pretty accurate replica of what you could be feasting on if you ever decide to "take a little vacation."

So without further adieu...I present to you My "Gourmet Prison Spread" recipe. 

 (If you are brave enough to try this out then I would love to see pictures of your finished product.)

You will need:

1 packet of Top Ramen (any flavor)

1/2 a bag of hot cheetos (or regular cheetos if you prefer)

1 hot dog

Siracha mayo (or regular mayo)

These are definitely some prime ingredients.

Step 1:

Crush the Top Ramen until it is all broken up in tiny pieces.

Step 2:

Fill a pot with boiling water and cook the Top Ramen until soft.  (I'm pretty sure everyone knows what cooked Top Ramen looks like.)  

Make sure to keep the seasoning packet separate, we will be using that later.

 Step 3:

Time for the hot dog preparation.   Chop the hot dog up into small pieces then mix them in a bowl with the top ramen seasoning and 1/2 inch of water.  (Doesnt this sound appetising?)

You will then cook this in the microwave for 2 1/2 minutes.

Yummy!

Step 4:

Crush your cheetos until they are almost in powder form.

Step 5:

Your Ramen noodles should be cooked by now so you will want to drain the water from them and pour the noodles into a bowl.

You will then pour in the cheeto dust, seasoned hot dog bits, and squirt in however much mayonnaise you feel fit.  

 

I just don't understand why they don't serve this in restaurants? 

Step 6:

The final step is to mix this mush all together and presto!  You now have legit prison spread.  

Now there are two common ways you can eat this, one being just straight, and the other is to use it as a burrito filling.  Naturally, I had to try both ways or else my research would be complete.

I personally think it resembles brains and think I will serve this at my Halloween party this year.

My work was not done, I had to follow through with my experiment and actually eat the stuff.   I ate and I survived.  Maybe not with a happy face the whole time but I survived.

My conclusion: I am definitely going to try and stay out of prison.  

Thanks for reading and I apologize if anyone is now sick to their stomachs.

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