Missing out

Back then, i used to meet with this person at least 3-4 times a week. Sometimes, we even meet at most, 5 to 6 times. This was during our college days.

After graduation, work schedule and the board review reduced the meetings to once per week.

I wont deny it.. Being the clingy person that i am, this shift took a toll on us. It was depressing.

I would call him on wednesdays or thursdays to ask if hed be able to at least have dinner with me just so i could see him. These circumstances are rare.. There had been many occasions where hed turn me down because he needed the time to review on something.

You see, im the type of person that doesnt really know alot of people. I dont keep any friends, only acquaintances.
Throughout highschool and college, he was the only thing that ive kept as a constant.
We always had each other. Its funny cause our traits and features have actually matched to a point that even people can actually say we're like two matching puzzle pieces.
I havent invested as much time, effort and emotion in any human being as ive invested on him.

Somehow, like all types of relationships.. Ours were subjected to series of tests. We dont always get along. Weve had problems. Weve had fights that could have potentially separated us.

This temporary set-up shouldnt be any different. Or so i thought..
The thing is.. Through all our past struggles, we have always been there for each other. We will always find time to sit down and talk it out. Each explains how they feel and what their perspective is.

Right now.. That physical presence is missing
Its killing me.
I know i have to understand.
I know its temporary
I know it'll be back to how it was before..
However, those things dont make any of my messed up feelings calm.

Its crazy.
I cant expect him to be with me 24/7
Even after the exams-which is actually just a week away, other things might pose the same consequence

He will be working soon..
He may even opt to start on his masters degree

Being away from him will eventually be part of our normal life-and it kills me to accept that

I want him.
Yet i cant be selfish
I need him to stand on his own
I need him to have his space

I do understand
Which is why it sucks even more

My argument is selfish and invalid
I would have to give way

Perhaps i should start to look for something to focus on
I need to keep my mind busy
I need to stop thinking about him and act as if he's the only thing thats gonna make me ok

I need to let go
We all have to