So, "cybercriminals" demand ransom for holding companies worldwide hostage - What's the low down here?

The cybercriminals believed to be behind a devastating attack that left hundreds of companies worldwide offline have reportedly demanded $70 million to restore the data they’re holding ransom.

— https://www.rt.com/news/528405-hackers-demand-ransomware-payment/

Wow. Isn’t that heartwarming?

The FBI and DHS will “reach out to identified victims to provide assistance”. Are they going to “reach out” to these cybercriminals to “provide” prison? Golly. Back in my day the long arm of the law wasn’t cuddling victims and ignoring criminals.

First it was cybercriminals shutting down the gasoline supply from Texas to the entire eastern seaboard of the USA. Then it was cybercriminals shutting down the meat supply. The FBI was overstretched by the effort to round up grannies and hillbillies and other Trump supporters by the hundreds, a mission vital to US national security. So no wonder the poor overstrained FBI couldn’t catch these dastardly small-time cybercriminals.

Now these same cybercriminals have a name that’s real catchy and they are on the Dark Web and they are not just shutting down the USA they are shutting down stuff all over the world!

I’m so stoked about this because I’m an old hippy from way back. These people are REBELS! They are thumbing their noses at the FBI and putting Capitalism Up Against The Wall, Mother!! And they are shutting down Meat and that’s great because Meat Is Murder, man. This is just perfect for me and all the kids my grandchildren's age who dig all us hippy Rebel boomers and drugs and died pink hair and stuff and diddle around with computers in our crash pads, man.

And the US president isn’t sure it’s the Russians. Not surprising, really. Joe Biden isn’t sure he took his pills this morning or which way is up or which way is the bathroom. And the FBI isn’t giving him any information, nor is the CIA. They don’t have to worry about the White House now that Trump is gone. The FBI hasn’t got a thing to do but handcuff grannies now that Trump is no longer a problem. The FBI doesn’t even have to pretend to do its job, apparently. The FBI doesn’t have to pretend to worry about BLM/Antifa terrorists turning Portland and LA and Chicago into war zones or Mexican cartels trafficking children across the US/Mexican border, let alone worry about the infrastructure of the USA under threat.

Oh here I go again being a broken record. Oh what is he ON about now, I can hear you ask. See, we old people used to have things called records that rotated on turntables and skipped a lot … Oh never mind. Watch out, kids. I’m going to say CIA. Again with the CIA! I can almost hear people losing focus out there.

But I persist. A few years ago the CIA announced that hundreds of malware weapons and worms that the CIA had developed with billions of public tax dollars had been stolen by mysterious anonymous cybercriminals and were now loose out there in the darkness. The CIA said that they couldn’t pursue this material or prosecute anybody because, Gosh DARN it! The CIA had just plumb forgotten to classify any of these cyber weapons! Oh well, that’s the cooky, as President Biden would say. Since the CIA hadn’t classified any of these dangerous malware cyber weapons, Congress couldn’t go after them either. Wasn’t that the Darnedest thing?!

Now here are cybercriminals elusive as the Scarlett Pimpernel and powerful as Doctor Evil and the CIA and FBI and DOJ and every three-letter Intelligence (Wow. “intelligence") agency in the whole world is helpless to catch them.

What was my point?

Just this. In my opinion this looks very much like a CIA “misdirect”. It’s a story calculated to appeal to idiots of my generation and the Woke generation to confuse us all and frighten us all. The CIA is perfectly in control of these so-called cybercriminals because the CIA IS these cybercriminals. They stole the malware weapons from public purview and now they are threatening the world with them. They are announcing that they can and will shut down any sector of the global economy at their pleasure.

I just want you to ask yourself why these supposed small-time cybercriminals are doing things that you’d think only a military cyberwar unit would be capable of. And they are getting away scot-free. Why? Why is the FBI and CIA so crackerjack when it comes to rounding up grannies for taking selfies but when it comes to catching cybercriminals who can shut down energy supplies and food supplies and even power grids the FBI and CIA are helpless?