Often you will hear a lot of people declare themselves an empath. Well I too am an empath. In all likelyhood you are also. Empathy is a natural ability shared by most humans. However, like most human traits we don't all enjoy this ability in equal measure. Some fall below the neurotypical average whilst others have more. So rather than seeing empathy as skill you either have or have not, we should consider that we all experience empathy to varying degrees.

So what is it?

Put simply, empathy is the ability to put yourself in someone elses shoes and feel what they feel. To some extent this ability can be learned, but largely we have a natural inclination to do so. We can condition ourselves not to feel it, or be conditioned not to feel it, and this can be targetted at certain groups of people or animals. Usually those we wish eat, kill, oppress or wage war on. But generally speaking, emapthy is a useful skill that can give us a huge advantage in forming emotional bonds, both with human and animal friends and family, raising children and generally becoming a well liked, trusted and valued member of the community.

What about those with really low empathy?

A small percentage of the population have much less empathy than others. This is recognised as one of the symptoms of psychopathy, or what is properly known as Antisocial Behaviour Disorder. People with ABD end up overrepresented in two population groups, prison and corporate boardrooms. Which depends largely on upbringing. A violent or traumatic childhood tends to lead the psychopath to prison. A nurturing upbringing with clear boundaries tends to lead them to business. However, even so called 'successful psychopaths' tend to be destructive to the businesses they work in, not to mention their colleagues.

The other end of the bell curve.

At the other end of the scale we have those that have uncanny empathy. More sensitive to others feelings than average. It is this group that likely identifies themselves as empaths. Their empathy can be so extreme it can get them into trouble, especially with psychopaths, who tend to see human emotion as a weakness to exploit. Such an empath will likely be drawn to their opposite number, their nemesis the psychopath, as much as the other way around. The psychopath adapts their manipulation tactics and personal story to match their current target victim. With an empathy they will likely try to get pity, although they might also claim not to want pity. However they may also appeal to more possitive emotions. An empath might also be drawn to feelings of success and superiority. Those feelings feel good right? And they can be addictive and keep you coming back for another 'fix'. Especially since an empath, so caught up in the feelings of others, rarely gets to experience success or superiority.

Of course, not everyone with a sob story is a psychopath trying to manipulate you. And after being burned, an empath can become a little paranoid and reclusive. It takes skill to recognise those that genuinely need help and open up to them, and courage to risk not being exploited by another jerk.

However we should also recognise that a psychopath can no more help having low empathy than someone with low IQ can help that. It is just that the empath might not be the best suited to dealing with their problems.