My journey through hell part 1

in #life7 years ago

Hey guys this is probably gna be written in a couple of parts it's a story of my mental and physical trauma suffered at the hands of 2 different men in my life with this post n the ones to come I'm going to try and tell my story but also try and explain and document the patterns of abuse the warning signs and how noticing these warning signs could potentially save your life if you happen to be in one of these relationships

My story starts 10 years ago at the age of 17 my first partner let's call him Daniel I had been seein Daniel for a couple of months he lived 100 miles away from me I was living with my mum and dad I used to go down at the weekend he would come and pick me and drive me down n we'd have a great time as time went on he started pressuring me telling me we couldn't be together anymore unless I moved down there to be with him because he couldn't afford to come up and we never got to see each other

Warning sign number one- no one who says they love you should ever put that kind of pressure on you you should be able to say no safe and secure in the knowledge that they will still be there and care for you even if they don't like or agree with you're desicion

But being only 17 and him being my first real relationship I did what he asked I packed a handful of belongings my laptop I had got for xmas and I got in his car and left I remember sitting in tears that night sending my mum a text message not even a phone call a pitiful text message telling her I wasn't coming home I wanted to be and live with Daniel at the time I obviously knew it was wrong but I had no idea how hard this would be on my mum I was just a kid myself and I had no idea of the repocussions of my actions.

My dad called me that night the conversation went something like this
Me- hello dad
Dad- are you ok did you send that message to you're mum
Me- yes dad I did
Dial tone

I cried for weeks I didn't phone or talk to any of my family because I thought they all hated me for what I had done but I couldn't go back I was far to stubborn for this not to work I couldn't of hurt the people closest to me this badly for this not to work so I dug my heels in and I got on with it things were going great with Daniel we had a nice big flat his family were very nice in the beginning anything you needed they were there for you so we were invited to Daniels mums for a BBQ after I had been there maybe 3 weeks and we had a lovely time everyone had a bit too much to drink and we ended up staying the night we were in his old room and he was in a mood about something or other I had asked to use his phone because I wanted to phone my mum for the first time being around his family had just made me miss mine even more than I already had been he said no I thought he was joking so I asked again and before I even knew what happened I was screaming and I had a foot imprint swollen n red coming out of my thigh he didn't have shoes he had just kicked me that bloody hard
Big warning sign - don't ever allow anyone to put they're hands on you if someone can physically hurt you in this manner it's far from love and you as a human being deserve a hell of a lot more

his mum started shouting upstairs what's going on up there Daniel he lied he said I'd fell n cut my leg on a low shelf I sat in a corner for the rest of the night crying wanting my mum not knowing what the hell id gotten myself into or how I was going to get myself out of it and getting myself out of it would prove to be one of the hardest things I would ever have to do but for now I would suffer in silence and alone.IMG_1367.JPG

Thanks for reading guys I will write some more tomorrow :)

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