a) I had a good friend once. We were close. Then we fell out one day when he accused me of not lying and covering up for him when he got found out for cheating on his girlfriend. He blamed all of us.

b) I had a girlfriend once. She disappeared on me eventually. After more than two years together, she decided that not replying altogether was the answer.

c) I know of an online entrepreneur from where I am. Today, he's known as a scammer, even having people posting actual screenshots of him incriminating himself via messages.

d) I also had a best friend once whom after 20 years of friendship, I decided to dump him because he didn't like a joke I cracked. I had enough for I was always there for him, even when he got himself warded for being suicidal.

e) I dated a girl who was extremely insecure. I watched her cry as she spoke to me, "Please don't let go", but I let go.

All these signs are easy. They are too easy.

The stories above make for juicy gossip, wherein my friends would mostly agree with me that these relationships were not good for me; that these were not good people.

If you want to know what reveals most about a person, you need to look at their subtle movements. I always detect them, sometimes too late through the little words they (don't) say, their shifts in their bodily movements as the language transpires and even their behavior on social media:

a) This guy would constantly and blatantly ask people how much money they made just so he could claim to make more. 

b) This girlfriend was a lazy ass bitch who didn't want to work, yet, she always had money in her person when we went out.

c) This scammer once tried to lecture me how about I am not a "giving" person when I asked him, not once, but twice about a guest post I wrote for him he promised to publish for me.

d) This friend was extremely condescending and insulting towards my lifestyle, saying my choice of jobs back then sucked and all that.

e) This girl was so insecure that she constantly put down the girls I used to date before her and talked about how great she was compared to them, even bordering on being a racist.

You see how the secret stories you don't hear tell the most? The subtle movements that cause hurricanes? The little pebbles that create waves?

This post may have been a little bitchy, but I am trying to say how we miss the point and get blindsided into thinking some of your friends are good for you, when they're not.

Care not for the easy betrayals, the simple backstabbing, the flimsy insults, the dramatic gossip and the lustful tales. Look for the little things early on, and I guarantee you will save yourself from a lot of toxicity.  

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