How lonliness start and love to be alone! Story

In this years of my life, i can barely recall what have i done. But some of it i can remember. Some it are good some are bad.
But i cannot forget that I accidentally drink a kerosene.

My father works in construction in Baybay leyte. I do remember that our 2nd brother is still a baby my mother cuddle. We board an apartment. A two story house were my mother's cousin along with us. Then during 4 to 5 pm, we go to highway. I remeber those fountain in a pond. It is beautiful. I like there. I remembere a big iron they used as a bell and keep it banging when 6pm hits the clock.

Back at the boarding house, during night time, i remember that as we slept in the second floor, my father moved me in a room while somebody is arrive in the house around 8 pm maybe. And during day time, the house is silent. Everybody is at work except me , my mother, and her cousin's wife. In the second floor, there were pile of wine bottle filled with water. And I see them drink from it. When everybody is gone i went to the second floor, and get some wine bottle that filled with water. Then I acidentally drink a kerosene. Because i do what they do out of curiosity. Then i came down, go to my mother keep coughing, told here what happened. The next i remember that my father arrived and feed me with sugar and coconut oil. Then they send me to our grandparents in my father's side.

Then now I can say, these is maybe the reason that I was not close to my parents, or to any body else. I'm a bit off to social gathering. I prefer alone but i am not a loner. I manage myself. But I enjoy myself company!

Those what happened to me makes me a loner. Before I long for somebody's attention. But not anymore. It seems i dont like to be with them. I am far to my parents. Maybe they dont know, or dont want to know but I dont care anymore! I have my own family now i visit my parents often. My grandparents were gone now. I missed them coz i cannot see them anymore. But the whole connection to my family is lost somewhere and i cannot find it anymore. The connect between me and my family is some like a lost friend that its okay when they are around and fine when they are not.

One thing I can say, i cannot connect the tie that I long before when I was a child. I am no longer a child and I dont need it anymore. I can stand on my feet even before so I dont need any special attention. Wither they care or not its fine for me. All i can say is that I am a bit calm. I worry less, I care less, I planned less, I live very optimistic, I find view of life in a shadow of yesterday. Today is the present day. Where what happened yesterday is somewhat like a shadow of what will happened today. When i try to look back, there is nothing there to stay. Always facing tomorrow by living my life today.

Photo credited

THANKS FOR READING, FOR UPVOTING AND RESTEEMING THIS POST
I WILL DO THE SAME TO YOU🚩👍👍