The World of Bullies and their Victims

We have all gone through this in one way or the other. It only depends on which side you are on. Are you the Bully or the victim? Let us find out.

Credits Pixabay

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The Term "bullying" that defines the behavior of arrogance between children and adolescents, characterized by physical or psychological oppression and acted in a prolonged manner by a person or from a group against one or more victims. The original Anglo-Saxon term contains in itself the English word " bull " which means "bull", since the irascible image, commonly associated with this animal, was initially used to emphasize the imposition on others, instinctive and based on force , characteristic of many forms of bullying and mainly of the first types identified.

Persistence over Time

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Like all forms of persecution against a person, bullying is also characterized by episodes of repetition and persecution repeated over time and with a certain frequency , such as to establish lasting negative emotions in the victim who suffers them, especially insecurity and fear.

Selected Victims

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Even rather authoritative sources tend to point out that bullying is different from other types of behavior that constitute a crime, such as vandalism or theft, but in reality this should not lead us to think that the behavior of bullies do not constitute, as frequently report of real crimes. In fact, these often include the subtraction of objects and damage to things or people, which however are made to specific peers, generally targeted and against which they are implemented systematic persecution. Bullying therefore generally involves primarily one or more bullies who carry out prevarications, abuses and acts of violence more or less serious against one or more victims.

Child and Adolescent Context

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In some countries, such as Scandinavia, the same phenomenon was initially described by the term "mobbing", a phenomenon similar to bullying that however now refers in all areas, of the world of work and therefore to adulthood . The word bullying has therefore been invested with a specificity in designating phenomena related to the developmental age, be it childhood or adolescence, more often detected at school, but sometimes perpetrated even in contexts of extracurricular meetings such as streets, neighborhoods and even gyms and recreational clubs.

Credits Pixabay

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Various forms of Bullying

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There are several actions that can be grouped under the name "bullying" and mainly are of three types:

**Physical actions of Bullying- ** Which often are those that makes more news and are more familiar to the public; they may range from episodes of mild aggression (pulling the hair or shoving), to the appropriation or damage of other people's objects, to the most severe forms of physical violence with free hand or with the use of weapons;

Verbal Behavior of Abuse- Which includes various forms of threats, insults, teasing that may concern school subjects, personality aspects, physical characteristics (including disability or skin color) and aspects related to sexual preferences.

Indirect Behaviors of Bullying- Which constitute the most subtle method of bullying, often based on gossip, on slander and aimed at isolating and excluding the recipients from the group.

The first two types of bullish actions are most often performed by males; the verbal and indirect forms, on the other hand, are a predominantly female mode of prevarication.

Asymmetry of the bully and victim Relationship

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Usually there is also a relational imbalance between bullies and victims is usually based on physical strength , of psychological differences in self-confidence or the power in the group.In fact, bullies are often physically stronger people and their goals frequently become lean and weak peers or, conversely, plump and awkward. Generally, the bully also has an "apparently major inner force" that is based on a sense of self-confidence nourished precisely by his arrogance on those who have more or less obviously condescending and submissive responses. This does not mean that there is really more psychological power in the bullies, rather it is a "sense of compensatory superiority", an unstable security deriving from the outside, linked to small daily victories that are based precisely on abuse and that can at the same time confer an opposite sense of insecurity in the victims.

The Psychological Profile of Bullies

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Generally the bullies, behind their apparent security, show relational problems destined to worsen over time if their relational modalities do not change. One of the biggest risks in adult life is the development of psychopathies.

According to many studies, the relational exchanges of the bullies are characterized by deficits related to certain abilities belonging to the so-called "emotional intelligence" and in particular they are negatively affected by low levels in the development of empathy. Children and young people who exercise physical or verbal abuse, more precisely, have been shown to be less able to correctly label the emotional expressions of others, a problem that explains the tendency to respond aggressively to even neutral behavior or even positives shown by other children and adolescents. Even the recognition of one's emotions appears low and, since the awareness of one's own emotional states is the fundamental prerequisite for an adequate management of the affective life, the latter is characterized by instinctive emotional reactions that take the upper hand on every reasoned alternative.

There are also other rather widespread characteristics among the bullies that explain their relational difficulties: they concern the reduced verbal skills often present in these children and young people. The reduced linguistic dimensions seem to be directly connected to the observation of the tendency to constantly implement aggressive behaviors when ambiguous relational situations occur, since there is not sufficient dialogue skills useful for the clarification of problematic situations.

Recent interventions on bullying have also highlighted the presence of problems in the executive functions of more aggressive children. The latter, in fact, show difficulties related to the main behavioral programming skills useful in relational contexts. They fail effectively above all in the following tasks:

• Planning of their actions and forecasting the possible consequences;

• Control of any impulsive behavior that limits the achievement of objectives;
  adaptation of one's own behavior to different contexts;

• Ability to postpone immediate gratifications by providing future successes and advantages;

• Learning from previous experiences.

The Mental and Behavioral characteristics of the victims

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Victims are also often united by similar psychological and behavioral characteristics. One of the main relational characteristics is the lack of assertiveness , ie the ability to express oneself, without being passive or aggressive, an aspect that in the opposite sense also lacks bullies. Bullied victims often develop symptoms of anxiety or depression , which are manifested in a more or less obvious way, frequently in the form of conversions in somatic symptoms (fever, headaches, gastrointestinal problems, etc.), which represent a way to keep away from the places where they are harassed. Other times the signs of psychological distress may be clearer, as in the case of anxiety or crying crisis or when there are recurrent nightmares on issues related to the pressure suffered.

I believe is up to us as parents, teachers, guardians to take note of this aggressive behavior with the help of proper counseling, peep talking and advices. To help eradicate this kind of behavior from our society.