Counting Reasons

Counting Reasons

I left the door open again.
Waiting for you to come back.
The echo of the empty room
And the ticking of the clock,
Lull me to think
Of reasons to forget.

But if I try forgetting
Your lips,
I remember
That night
When I saw you
Puffing smoke
After you promised me
Not to,
But I remember
How your lips
Come close to mine
More than the cigarette stick
That was Between them.

If I try forgetting
The dents on your cheeks
Left when you smile,
I remember
How those were
Meant for me.

If try forgetting
How your hair
Falls over your eyes,
I remember how they
brush across my face
When you kiss me.
Id laugh and push them aside.

If try forgetting
Your existence,
I remember
That there's still a ring mark
Here on my finger
The concave circle
Around it
Tells me I'm lying.
The metal dug
My skin
Imposing its presence there.

If only forgetting
Was a convenience store
Where you pick
memories to remember
from the shelf.
And leave the rest
To be carried around
By others.
But it's not.

memories
Are in your room,
In your house,
In your temple
Of worship.
It's in the places
You cannot escape.
It's on the tip of your tongue,
It's in between you fingernails.
It's the scent left on your skin.
Memory is in and on your body.
Memory is your cage.

I close the door,
Secure it,
Bolt it down
But it's so hard to shut out
Memories
When they come
Knocking at your door,
Flowers in hand.

It's so hard to shut
Out memories
When my hands
Know where the keys are
And my feet trace the steps
To the door
Like a quick tango.

If I forget you
I forget me.
You make me
Forget what loneliness
Is like.
Because when you wrap
Your arms around
My waist,
Memories matter less.
This is why
I'm writing this
At the edge
Of our bed.

Sometimes I forget
That I'm supposed to leave you
I end up
With reasons
To stay instead.