Rap Lyrics: Comedy Open Mic #27
(A strong hip-hop beat.)
Mmm...uh...yeah...uh....uh...
Hey girl.
I see you sitting there pretty.
Can I speak at you? Are you in a hurry?
I know you think I might stalk you.
But what I want is to talk to you.
I'm not the type to hit and run.
Early to bed exhausted. That's my fun.
I am a serious man.
I intend to ask your hand.
In marriage girl...
Mmm...uh...yeah...uh...uh...
Hey girl.
Forgive me if this sounds tawdry.
We can combine laundry.
Dry undies on low.
I'll separate whites. Wash two loads.
Go to the market to fetch tampons.
Ask the clerk if they got coupons.
Buy an onion and chop it fine.
What? You don't like onions? You loved them just last night!?
Make me cry twice... Mmmm...uh...yeah...uh...uh...
Hey girl.
Shall I book a reverend?
I'm not religious but I can pretend.
Invite your mom and dad.
I'll be the son they never had.
What?! They do church twice a week?
I can pretend but I'm not a freak.
If I disappoint your sexual needs.
Don't fake it. I'll finish soon and fall asleep.
Make you cry twice...
Mmm...uh...yeah...uh...uh...
Hey girl.
I am a tough ass rapping dude.
But I won't treat my woman rude.
If I ever refer to you as "bitch" out loud.
I'll be sleeping in the basement on the couch.
We'll bind our lives legally.
Tolerate one another or lawyers get everything.
Have a kid or three you damn well bet.
Buy a house. A car. Live in debt.
Double income or else...
Mmmm...uh...yeah...uh...uh...
Mmmm...uh...yeah...uh...uh...
(The beat fades.)
I nominate @ablaze and @canadianrenegade to enter a piece in this humor contest @comedyopenmic.
Thank you.
Lol, this is an original work, haha
#staywoke!
Why was I rapping with a cowboy accent? 😄
I don't know, but I like it.
I did it in a white boy accent, whatever that may be.
Probably pronounce more "r", than necessary
Nice rap ... you got some talent.
It wasn't hard to imagine you from your older music video in the white tshirt feeling the opening beat and dropping those leading uh uhs in there.
Recharging my STEEM power, so accept a resteem for now.
Good stuff. Might want to add a line about if she likes your grill... You know, the one you put your meat and buns on in the Summer in your half acre backyard.
Thanks!
Hi acolucky,
Thank you for your entry in to #comedyopenmic comedy contest. We have asked the judges below to review your entry and give it a funny rating. (They generally have no sense of humor, as the saying goes, those that can't do, start contests and judge).
This will determine your ultimate position when the results are tallied. (That being said, you are free to adopt any position you wish - we can recommend pantsless with beer in hand.)
Judges:
If you have any questions or queries please feel free to contact one of the judges or come say hi in discord: Click Here
Thank you to @matytan for the great banner
Boom shaka laka!